Maya Angelou said, "If we lose love and self-respect for each other, this is how we finally die." In that case, has the black woman and the black man died a slow death in each other's eyes? If all I ever watched was television I would believe a black woman and a black man was the worst pairing; Black love -- a romantic relationship between a black woman and a black man -- is depicted negatively in the media; interracial relationships are fetishized, but I still want a black man.

Firstly, there are very few movies/tv shows that have a positive example of black love. For example, ABC's "Blackish" is an excellent example of a successful black married couple raising their children in a happy healthy environment. I absolutely adore this show. It is very reminiscent of the "Cosby Show" which is one of the few shows that portray a black couple in admirable representation. However, although I have to search my mind and the Internet spiritedly for positive examples, it was quite easy to find the negative portraits. "Poetic Justice," "Why Did I Get Married?", "Deliver Us From Eva", "Being Mary Jane" and my list could continue on for days. Black women are constantly portrayed as difficult, aggressive, angry, unsupportive, and unlovable, and the representations of black men are sometimes no better. So imagine a couple. I have to wonder if black love is being discouraged.

Secondly, in the media interracial relationships are heavily fetishized. I support love. I love, love...but only when it is pure. Some people want to be an interracial relationship because of love and desire to be with that person; that it amazing and beautiful. However, it ugly when the desire for this particular relationship is only desired to produce lighter complected and loosely curled-hair children or to validate their worth and as an act of self-hatred. My mind questions the people who get into an interracial relationship to uplift their self-esteem, but I admire those who fight through discrimination and frustrations for their love such as my close friend. But what is disheartening is the glamorization of interracial relationship by the media such as the movie "Something New." Interracial relationships are like any other relationship; they aren't perfect either.

Here is why I want a black man: Besides the fact they are beautiful, they are inspirational. It is dangerous to be a black man -- I have seen the struggle, internal and external, with my own eyes and for the most part to overcome the circumstances that most of them have to live through takes character. And I think one of the most beautiful things is a black man who has realized his potential. I can't deny the effect that seeing positive representation of myself in others has on me. I don't know if life is imitating art or vice versa, but there is obvious discourse in the black community and black relationships. It obvious that we want these relationship to work because the reaction and the admiration we had for the Cosbys and now for "Blackish" and countless movies like "Beyond the Lights," "Love Jones," and "Love & Basketball." These movies are classics within the black community because of how beautiful the characters love are and how we could see our own love lives reflected in theirs. Honestly, I smile when I see a black couple, because in a world where a black woman is everything a woman shouldn't be (but at the same time, everything that she has is wanted), seeing them together is special. It makes me believe that I could raise well-adjusted black children who know their worth and value themselves and their heritage. It makes me believe that we can rebuild our broken communities. It makes me believe black love is alive and well.