She Wanders

October 31st, 2016

While most lay vast asleep her eyes flutter open.

She squints through her tired eyes and looks around the room.

She feels her pain take her body.

She feels her fever flush through her veins. What could it be now?

So she wanders.

Her eyes heavy, she shuts them.

She sleeps only moments before waking up again, but this time from a taunting dream.

She can't escape her thoughts,

So she allows herself to wander.

When she lays hoping to sleep, she also begs that she will wake up.

She is scared of her past.

She is sometimes scared for her life.

So she wanders.

Sometimes in her sleep, her mind shuts off and she is truly at rest.

Other times, she sleeps through nightmares reminding her of her past, and her present.

It's when she lies away in the dead of the night or day,

that she wanders.

She doesn't want it to be like this. She doesn't like being scared. She wants to be strong and fierce.

She thinks about her family, her friends. She could never leave them. She needs them like the moon needs the sun.

But she still wanders.

Her body continues to fail her. So she gets weak, and her thoughts dance as her pain grows deeper, and she becomes sicker.

So she wanders.

She notices the feeling of her breath against her throat, to calm herself; that's life. It's a reminder. She listens to the sounds of waves, wishing they could take her emotions with them each time they roll out.

But sometimes, she cannot sleep, she cannot fight, and she is immensely scared.

All she can do is wander.

What she does not know, is that every time she wanders she is becoming stronger and more prepared for her future.