There's Power In Waiting

There's Power In Waiting

Waiting to date doesn't make you a prude, it makes you smart.

Young girls in the dating world nowadays have it rough. If you date too much you’re a slut and if you don’t date at all you’re a prude. They are given these labels that, in most cases, couldn’t be further from the truth. I have first hand experience from this as I didn’t date until I was almost 20 years old. I’m here to tell you that it is okay to wait.

All through high school the only attention that I got from the opposite sex was of the friend variety or being ignored completely. Suffice to say, the dating pool for me wasn’t very big so I didn’t worry myself with the idea of having a boyfriend. For a while, I was fine with that until the end of my junior year and beginning of my senior year. I still wasn’t actively looking for a relationship but as time went on I grew embarrassed that I hadn’t had one or done anything intimate with the opposite sex.

It took my best friends and a lot of my family to tell me that I should be proud of waiting for a relationship and waiting to lose my virginity for that matter. Once I started college, the embarrassment, or shame, that I held went away. I was proud that I made the decision to let it happen in its own time.

Waiting, however, came with its challenges. With kids being so sexually active and boy/girl crazy these days it’s almost an abnormality if you are a virgin or if you don’t date.

There were times I was asked if I was a lesbian because of my lack of male companionship. I have no problem with lesbians, you like who you like, but just because I don’t have a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly a closeted lesbian. I mean wouldn’t I be bringing a lot of girls around then? Instead I wasn’t bringing anyone around because there was no one to bring around.

Then there were the people who thought I was a prude. I wasn’t. I just hadn’t taken that step yet. I had no problem with sex or people taking about sex I just hadn’t done it yet. To be honest, the more people thought this, the prouder I was of my decision.

Next is my favorite question that I was often asked, ‘Are you waiting for marriage?’ No, I wasn’t. Just because I chose to be a virgin for as long as I did doesn’t mean I was waiting for marriage. That would be like me saying ‘Are you trying to have a baby because that is what sex is for.’ Obviously, that’s not what teenagers would be thinking. The truth is I wasn’t waiting for marriage, the opportunity just never presented itself and I just didn’t worry about it.

I chose to focus on me. I chose to focus on school and getting good grades to go to college. I chose to work on myself so that I was comfortable in my own skin. I chose to wait for the right guy to come along that I deserved and who deserved me. I believe that you need to be pretty sure of who you are as a person first before you enter relationship and you can’t really do that as a teenager.

I got a lot crap for waiting so long from some of my friends, my family, even my own mother, but at the end of the day it was my decision to make and today I couldn’t be prouder of that decision.

Because I waited, I ended up finding a really good guy or rather he found me. We have so much in common and we are always laughing and having a good time. He respects me and treats me right. I’m not going to lie we are not the perfect couple and we have had our hiccups and no doubt will have more in the future but that is to be expected in a relationship. I was upfront with him about my lack of experience in the dating world and he was completely understanding of it. He was patient with me when it came to the more intimate matters and that made it easier to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. We could break up tomorrow and I still wouldn’t regret giving up my virginity to him.

Let this be an inspiration to you. Don’t listen to your friends or family or anyone trying to pressure you to date if you are not ready.


This is a decision that you have all the power over. I’m so glad I waited to date and lose my virginity till I was 19 (a month or so shy of 20). If I hadn’t of waited I might not be in the relationship I am in now. I could have been in a relationship that I hated. Worst of all, I could have made decisions I regretted.

There is a power in waiting and you never know, you could meet your prince charming all because you made the simple decision to wait and let things happen on their own.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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He brings out the best in me. When I first met my boyfriend, I knew he was something special. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that it would be important someday. I found out that when I am with him, I am an all-around happier person. I look at things in different ways, and I now know a whole new world of people. He has helped me overcome obstacles that have been holding me back for quite some time.

We enjoy each others company. I can't even begin to tell you how many times we have just sat in silence simply knowing that you are in the company of someone who loves you is comforting. He makes things that would usually be boring a lot more fun. When we do homework together, he makes the work seem like it's not work, and things like a simple trip to Walmart ends up being a comedy show.

We are best friends. Many people say that they are best friends with their significant other. For us, it's true. I can tell him anything. There is no hiding things in our relationship; we come right out and say what we want to say.

He pushes me to succeed. Whether it is with weight loss or homework, he holds me accountable. When I start a new workout, he keeps me on track to be whom I want to be. We make sure that we put homework before going out and that helps us in the long run. Giving up that pizza can be easy when you are spending time with someone you love.

He makes life seem not so hard. College can be hard and make life difficult. It seems that I always have something new happening or another meeting to attend. When I get stressed or overwhelmed, he makes sure that I take the time to put into perspective what really matters and focus on that. And when that fails, we go get McDonald's.

He supports me. He has never once told me that one of my ideas was stupid or out of reach. Whenever something new comes up that I think would be exciting, he is the first one to rally behind me and let me know that it is a good idea (even if it's not).

I love him. Love is a strong word, but I can honestly say I have never felt like this before. Between everything that he does for me, I do just as much for him simply because I love seeing him happy. Spending so much time together isn't hard to do because we love each other. If somewhere down the road we decide to split ways, I will still love him and he will still love me. That will never go away.

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?


I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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