There's Power In Waiting

There's Power In Waiting

Waiting to date doesn't make you a prude, it makes you smart.
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Young girls in the dating world nowadays have it rough. If you date too much you’re a slut and if you don’t date at all you’re a prude. They are given these labels that, in most cases, couldn’t be further from the truth. I have first hand experience from this as I didn’t date until I was almost 20 years old. I’m here to tell you that it is okay to wait.

All through high school the only attention that I got from the opposite sex was of the friend variety or being ignored completely. Suffice to say, the dating pool for me wasn’t very big so I didn’t worry myself with the idea of having a boyfriend. For a while, I was fine with that until the end of my junior year and beginning of my senior year. I still wasn’t actively looking for a relationship but as time went on I grew embarrassed that I hadn’t had one or done anything intimate with the opposite sex.

It took my best friends and a lot of my family to tell me that I should be proud of waiting for a relationship and waiting to lose my virginity for that matter. Once I started college, the embarrassment, or shame, that I held went away. I was proud that I made the decision to let it happen in its own time.

Waiting, however, came with its challenges. With kids being so sexually active and boy/girl crazy these days it’s almost an abnormality if you are a virgin or if you don’t date.

There were times I was asked if I was a lesbian because of my lack of male companionship. I have no problem with lesbians, you like who you like, but just because I don’t have a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly a closeted lesbian. I mean wouldn’t I be bringing a lot of girls around then? Instead I wasn’t bringing anyone around because there was no one to bring around.

Then there were the people who thought I was a prude. I wasn’t. I just hadn’t taken that step yet. I had no problem with sex or people taking about sex I just hadn’t done it yet. To be honest, the more people thought this, the prouder I was of my decision.

Next is my favorite question that I was often asked, ‘Are you waiting for marriage?’ No, I wasn’t. Just because I chose to be a virgin for as long as I did doesn’t mean I was waiting for marriage. That would be like me saying ‘Are you trying to have a baby because that is what sex is for.’ Obviously, that’s not what teenagers would be thinking. The truth is I wasn’t waiting for marriage, the opportunity just never presented itself and I just didn’t worry about it.

I chose to focus on me. I chose to focus on school and getting good grades to go to college. I chose to work on myself so that I was comfortable in my own skin. I chose to wait for the right guy to come along that I deserved and who deserved me. I believe that you need to be pretty sure of who you are as a person first before you enter relationship and you can’t really do that as a teenager.

I got a lot crap for waiting so long from some of my friends, my family, even my own mother, but at the end of the day it was my decision to make and today I couldn’t be prouder of that decision.

Because I waited, I ended up finding a really good guy or rather he found me. We have so much in common and we are always laughing and having a good time. He respects me and treats me right. I’m not going to lie we are not the perfect couple and we have had our hiccups and no doubt will have more in the future but that is to be expected in a relationship. I was upfront with him about my lack of experience in the dating world and he was completely understanding of it. He was patient with me when it came to the more intimate matters and that made it easier to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. We could break up tomorrow and I still wouldn’t regret giving up my virginity to him.

Let this be an inspiration to you. Don’t listen to your friends or family or anyone trying to pressure you to date if you are not ready.

IT IS OK TO WAIT.

This is a decision that you have all the power over. I’m so glad I waited to date and lose my virginity till I was 19 (a month or so shy of 20). If I hadn’t of waited I might not be in the relationship I am in now. I could have been in a relationship that I hated. Worst of all, I could have made decisions I regretted.

There is a power in waiting and you never know, you could meet your prince charming all because you made the simple decision to wait and let things happen on their own.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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views

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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People Who Invalidate Your Feelings Don't Actually Care About You

People that refuse to acknowledge that they've hurt my feelings and say I have no right to feel how I'm feeling are not people that I want to be my friends.

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I'm an emotional person, to say the least. Whenever I get upset about something, I usually end up crying about it. Crying is one of the main ways I process my emotions and get sh*t out, instead of letting it bottle up. When I was a teenager and younger, I was definitely the person who wanted to bottle up my emotions and just never deal with them. Bottling up my emotions ACTUALLY ended with me blowing up every once in a while or having a huge breakdown.

Processing my feelings as they come is a healthier approach for me in handling my emotions AND it allows me to communicate when I'm upset with my friends shortly after the fact.

Sometimes, I'll confront one of my friends about how their actions made me feel like garbage and they'll go off about how I shouldn't feel this way and they're doing all they can to be a good friend. This dialogue is frustrating because I'm not saying they're a bad friend or a bad person. All I'm saying is they hurt my feelings and I would like for them to acknowledge it and try to avoid it in the future, if possible.

Another example, I have this other friend who doesn't listen to me at ALL when I talk to them. Sometimes, they will seem to register what I'm saying and connect with me, but two weeks later, they won't remember ever having talked about it. We went out together after getting back from winter break and they never stopped talking about themselves the whole time. Whenever I talked, it seemed like an interruption in their monologue. They wouldn't even acknowledge what I said and their actions hurt my feelings. How can someone say they care about me, yet treat me like that? They only wanted me to hear THEIR side of the story, without retaining any information about me.

People that refuse to acknowledge that they've hurt my feelings and say I have no right to feel how I'm feeling are not people that I want to be my friends. I want friends who recognize my feelings, even if they don't agree with them. I can't do anything to change my feelings! All I can do is accept them and tell my friends when they've hurt my feelings. When people try to change how I feel by saying I shouldn't be upset or saying I'm overreacting, it shows how little respect they have for me. Why would I want to be friends with someone like that?

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