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Waiting On Engagement

And the hurt that comes with it.

Chloe bartley
Nov 15, 2016
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
57
Waiting On Engagement
Etsy

The thing about being in a relationship for four years is that you begin to expect to get married.

And when you see all the couples around you getting engaged and married, feelings that aren't good start to come forth. Feeling of anger, jealousy, bitterness, and sadness. Feelings I don't want to have, but I can't let go of. Trying to be happy for your friends when they're making plans, setting dates, and flashing rings. While your insides are screaming for what they have. Screaming for someone who understand. Who understands I'm not just a demanding girlfriend, but a hurt, weary and broken girl that just wants to take the next step in life and her relationship.

Someone who dreams of being a wife to an amazing man and one day a mother. And someone who is scared that these feeling won't actually go away when engagement happens. Waiting for something that you've wanted for so long and that is right in your grasp but yet so far away is heartbreaking. It takes every ounce of your being to push those aweful feelings towards couples down. To put on a happy face and act like everything is awesome. Because for them, it is. But for me, that means not more sadness.

Hopefully one day all of these feelings will end and I'll be planning a wedding. But for now, I'm a stuck in this place of sadness and jealousy.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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