I was never one to really excel in relationships. In fact, I've been single my entire life. Despite the singleness, I am completely okay with it. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I really want to be in a relationship and end up watching romantic comedies to fill the void of romantic love. However, for the most part, I am content with being single. My mind set is that one day I will find the right one for me and he will make the wait all worth it.
Do I want to be in a relationship? I mean, sure I do. But if I'm being honest, I'm actually a little afraid of falling in love with someone. Feeling so much love for someone is definitely a beautiful thing, but it can also be scary. I'm afraid of getting hurt. We all are, aren't we? I do have a wall up when it comes to relationships and I keep myself guarded (which I think isn't a terrible thing to do. Just gotta make sure that I'm still open to letting people in). I know this probably sounds sappy, but I believe that one day I'll find someone that'll eventually find a way to either get through that wall or make me feel like breaking down the wall. I think I'll know he's the right one when I'm willing to take a chance despite the fear. But until then, I am going to just patiently wait.
Why am I waiting? Well, simply because I haven't found the right one yet. And when I say the "right one" I don't mean that he is perfect or anything. I just mean that he'll value me as much as I value him. Someone that'll love me despite all my imperfections and despite everything that I'm not. Someone that'll cherish all the love I have to offer. Someone that'll take care of my oh so fragile heart. I know, pretty cheesy huh? But you know what? It may be cheesy, but it's the simplest way that I can truly explain how I feel about this whole love/relationship thing. I value myself and who I share my love with. I don't want to waste my love on someone that'll just play around with it and take it for granted. I don't want to waste it on someone that'll never reciprocate it. I know the love that I definitely deserve and I'm not willing to settle for anything less. Is this person going to be hard to find? Probably. But I'm not in a rush. I'm sure our lives will cross paths eventually.
To be honest, yeah the way a person may look may play a part, but it's not the biggest factor for me. Someone who can make me laugh, smile, and happy is someone I'd rather be with. I would rather be with someone that'll make me feel like I'm just fine the way I am. I don't want to be with someone that'll make me feel like I always have to be a certain way or else he won't like me as much. I don't want someone that'll only be with me conditionally. It's all about that unconditional love, ya know. Does a guy like that exist? I would like to think so and I am going to keep believing that.
Even though waiting is the hardest part, I am willing to wait for a love so special.
