Three words I could never say out loud. Three words I would never want to say, so I’m typing them instead. Three little words that are extremely selfish, and I could never directly say them to you, even if my life depended on it. Three words: wait for me.
I’ve been hurt in the past. I’m damaged, and in a sense broken even when I don’t like to admit it. My heart is a scattered mess, and I like to think I’m a lot stronger than I am. I’m insanely bad at asking for help. I’m definitely not an open book, and the pages of this girl’s novel are completely a mess. I try my best every day to show love to those around me, even when I’m not feeling it myself. I was doing fine on my own, was content with being single because that meant I wouldn’t get hurt. But then you came along…
You were different, and I was instantly intrigued. You were nothing like other guys I encountered in the past, and I kind of knew I was in trouble. You genuinely care about me, and always ask about my day. You are the definition of a good guy, and my biggest question: why me?
It’s not that I don’t think I’m pretty enough or funny enough, I just feel like I’m TO MUCH. You could have any girl you wanted but instead decided to invest your time in me. To say you bring me joy is an understatement, and the friend you have become to me is someone who I hope is in my life for a long time.
So days when I may seem off and need some alone time, it has nothing to do directly with you. It’s me trying to deal with my emotions on my own because that’s how I’ve always been. I have never asked for help in the past, and having someone who wants to constantly help me is something new for me.
So if you feel the same way I do…
Wait for me… I see the potential in this and us. Just because I am not ready at this exact moment does not mean that time won’t come.
For the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful about a guy. These butterflies in my stomach aren’t for nothing. There is something here, and it might take me longer to open up, but I have a lot to give.
You’re important to me. I told you not to wait because I do not want to see you get hurt. You’re one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and I genuinely care about your heart and happiness.
Don’t push. There are going to be days when I need space, and I may not be extremely affectionate. That is just me. I’m learning to open up because I want to for you.
If after all this you still see potential in this relationship and me (like I do in you), please wait for me. I like this and excited for this. I’m trying my best to not mess this up, and that means taking things slow.
So if you wouldn’t mind, please wait for me.
