If you missed last week's "Words To Live By" piece, you can find the, "My House Rules," article here. Last week's piece, "Words to Live By," and each subsequent weekly installment will go on how to live by those words.
Last week's piece was mostly on ways to set a boundary on the most external parts of your life. Those "house rules" were something of a metaphor for a foundation on thoughts for experiencing the world, if the house was the world. Personal rules are something of a metaphor regarding a foundation on experiencing people, because interactions are personal.
As you might remember, last week I wrote about how treating yourself to the time and company of others is the most important activity we will continue to do. People have the power to energize you. They can support and inspire you. They can provide insight and ease of mind. They can love, and they can lead. However, they can also hate. They can drain you. They can tear you down and depress you. They can create anxiety and turmoil. They can create indecision and fretfulness. Yes, people can come in all sorts of flavors. They can do all these things, and more, in your life, if you let them.
That's an interesting caveat, "if we let them." I understand that we don't get to choose how the actions of others affect us. I understand we don't get to filter the people in our lives. I understand that we don't get to choose only positive externalities in our life. But what if we could? How would we? The short answer is to inspire the people to be a positive impact.
The long answer isn't actually that long, here's how it works. Let that person inspire you. I know, there are plenty of people, you, me, and us all don't find that inspiring. We either feel that we know more, are better off, are more experienced, or whatever. I offer though, don't let those thoughts exist.
Don't let yourself think anything about another person other than as an inspiration. I describe this rule as, "giving the 10." Give everyone a 10, on a scale of 10. They are your most formidable adversary, most wise opponent, most knowledgeable teacher, and most experienced mentor.
Allow everybody to speak into your life. Allow them to be an influence. Even if their influence doesn't manifest, doesn't create change in your life, by allowing them to seemingly inspire you this creates an inherently positive bond.
It's positive because people naturally put their best foot forward as leaders. Surely you've heard the idioms that the best leaders lead by example. By making each person a leader to you, they naturally will work the hardest to do the best for you. It's a simple life hack to get the best sides of people, all the time.
No, I do not advocate being spineless in your relationships and letting your friends direct them consistently. However, surely there are areas in which you can empower them to lead courageously, and in turn they will be a positive impact on you.
It takes a bigger person to bend their knee to another. Either that, or just love your friends better. Give them the 10, and in turn feel your decisions return as positive investments.
