Let me start off by saying that this is not the easiest thing for me to talk about, but it is definitely an important question to ask. So before we get started, let us look at a definition of the word itself.
Vul•ner•a•ble: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or being open to attack or damage.
Does that sound fun to you? If it does, well, power to ya!
Vulnerability is scary, to say the least, but it is also very important in life. The concept that vulnerability is necessary for proper development/trust in relationships is easy to understand. The hard part is applying it in your life.
Throughout my life, I have made so many close friends. There were friends that I could be vulnerable with and then the friends that I should have never been vulnerable with. I would say that expressing my emotions, thoughts, opinions, dreams, secrets or feelings to those few people was scary, but I don't regret it. I don't regret giving them the opportunity to know me in such a way. However, I am just upset with what they did with the information. With that being said, I have learned that none of that was my fault. The people who have hurt/betrayed/manipulated me with what I told them was not my fault.
In this world, you will meet people you trust and people you don't trust -- people you want to tell things to and people you're scared to tell things to. The hardest part is when you find the people you trust and want to tell things to, but there is a voice in your head that tells you to hold back and not submit to vulnerability.
People always compare vulnerability to weakness. I think that it is the opposite. You are brave to let people in. You are strong when you are open with others. Vulnerability is something that I struggle with. It's hard to give someone access to things that are so personal and important to you, especially when some of the people who knew you better than anyone were the ones to hurt you the most. But, being vulnerable is also such a rewarding feeling, and it is important to find a good balance between the two. Learning to let the past stay in the past and not participate in your future relationships is key.
Thankfully, I have made a few very strong relationships that make me believe that vulnerability is a good, good thing. It is okay to be afraid of being vulnerable. It is not okay to give up on being vulnerable with the people closest to you. What you feel, think, want, express is important. It makes you the person that you are. I hope you find those friendships and don't let go. People love the person that you are. Why wouldn't you share your light with the world around you?
