Well, I honestly am going to say that I am the person that always gets sucked into the vortex of love. I never really wanted to admit it to myself (people knew though, even if I tried to hide it) that I was doing it because being with a guy made me feel safe. It was so comforting to me. It’s not like I don’t like being single, but I find more security in having that other half, and protector there day in and day out.
They always seem to do something amazing and comforting that it makes me really happy and of course safe in my eyes. In my defense, I never felt so safe in my life until I fell for a special someone. The only one who would make sure I’m doing O.K., such as sending "good morning" and "goodnight" texts and the most important one of all is when I ever felt like another guy was bothering me he'd be quick to fix it and make the issue stop. It would make me feel safe again, and it made me love him so much more.
I wouldn’t say generally that it’s a big issue for me to be sucked into it each time. Most of the reason that it happens is that it's easy to me. Having the struggle with anxiety and depression made me want love, affection, and security more. It was my safe haven, having a person on my side and keeping me secure kept my disorder at a minimum. The vortex of love sucks me in because being loved is what any girl longs for. It also can cause uneasiness in you because one minute you have someone on your radar and the next they are gone.
During my high school days, I was never on any radar for love or had someone love me at all. Never did I have a guy want me or to keep me safe. Soon after I graduated high school I had one guy that gave me the attention that I have longed for, and he changed that for me. Now I am exposed to how much I was in need of this wonderful love. Kinda crazy right? How much I was missing out on it.
But falling in the vortex was easy but when it fades so does the guy and all the love and security disappears that I had for what felt like a second. Then I got sucked back in yet again. Why? Because I feel safe.
I definitely am in the vortex and who knows how long I will stay in it. But as long as I feel safety in it I will continue on until that special someone sweeps me off my feet and changes the cycle.
