As someone who hates rocking the boat, communicating with others has been one of the hardest things for me to do. I love to be in harmony with others and keep the peace and anything that shakes me world simply terrifies me. Simply disagreeing with someone on the choice of a restaurant scares me- I want to be a yes man. It’s in my nature to please people and I love seeing others satisfied.

However, as someone who likes peace, it means risking my state of mind and my relationships with others. As I’ve grown over the past year and met all different people and experienced new situations, I’ve learned that sometimes you have to be vocal for any situation or relationship to actually work. If you don’t talk issues out or voice your interests, there can be imbalance of attention and grow resentment, and the last thing you need is to resent the ones you love the most.

Being vocal doesn’t mean you’re trying to stir arguments nor does it always mean you’re being selfish. No one can read your mind and no one will really ever understand who you are unless you’re willing to speak up. While opening up is hard, you learn from speaking up and may gain something positive. It’s not easy but exposing who you really are to others creates a stronger bond and you can learn so much about yourself and one another. It creates a path where both people can talk and not feel judged but also value how each other’s opinions.

I’m thankful that the people around me do care enough to think about me and my best interests or ask what’s wrong. What I owe back to them is to be responsive, not bottle up my emotions (and possibly explode at them) and invest in them as well. By both parties talking, it allows one another to get comfortable with each other and feel like they have no secrets to hide. Any relationship is a two way street and it means that you both have to put out them same amount of energy you put in.

I’ve realized that if I want to have a good relationship with other people, I need to be open with them and myself. It’s difficult to show vulnerability and I’m always one who wants to fix things on their own or deal with something on their own, but I’m not always so powerful like that. The friends and family around you are there to support you and in order to do so, they do have to get to know you.

Life certainly isn’t easy and there will be moments where situations get awkward or tense, but honestly, if there weren’t bumps in the road, is it really a genuine relationship? People butt heads all the time and you’ll clash with each other but it’s natural. I’m still learning that having those uncomfortable moments are normal and I have to work through them. I only grow when I have to face the harder things in life but I come out as a stronger and (possibly) wiser person. I advise anyone to learn to speak up about how they feel because it makes relationships with each other that much easier. I’m no where near perfect on being vocal, but I’m working on it and hope to be as genuine as possible.

So, good luck to those working on your relationships with others. Be vocal and listen to one another- besides no one likes someone who’s fake.