Videos On The Internet That Shouldn't Exist: "I Feel Fantastic"

Videos On The Internet That Shouldn't Exist: "I Feel Fantastic"

Plastic isn't always fantastic.
2690
views

As it may go without saying, the Internet can be a very strange, frightening, and sometimes confusingly erotic place. It takes only a cursory knowledge of online culture to understand the dangers of reckless late-night googling. At worst, you'll have the FBI busting down your front door and bursting in through your windows because of a careless typo you made while searching “sweet baby corn.” At slightly less worst, you'll incidentally stumble upon a video like “I Feel Fantastic” and wind up forever despising technology as a whole.

“I Feel Fantastic” was first uploaded to YouTube in April of 2009 by the user Creepyblog, and has since then made its presence known in virtually every horror community on the Web. Enthusiasts of such content may be tired of hearing about this particular nugget of damnation, but to those who've never heard of it, well, here's the big skinny.

The video stars a tall, dolled-up, blonde-wigged, rubber-faced android woman named Tara who's standing in a living room fitfully sized for a hobbit while tethered to the wall by an intestine of multicolored wires. Her body is plastic and rigid like a giant Stephen King Barbie doll, and she's wearing a homely sweater that gives off the unconvincing impression of personability. Seconds into watching the video, you may find your ears and perhaps, if your soul is especially tainted, other orifices inexplicably starting to bleed. If not, you're either blessed, deaf, or have your volume down too low. Tara sings the lyrics “I feel fantastic, hey, hey, hey” with the grace of a lobotomized Siri over the dying, sputtering groans of a 1980's Casio keyboard. Her lips part and shut ever so slightly in sync with her voice, and her head and arm twist and lift in a futile attempt to emulate life.

Around the one-minute mark, after asking you to "Please leave" and "Run, run, run, run," the video cuts to Tara assuming a 'lax' pose on the floor, now completely dressed in black. There's a hiatus in her singing, which should be a good thing, but isn't, because she's still on the screen, existing.

Then the shot flips upside down, and the carpet of the room is suddenly smothered in what looks like MS Paint snow.


Shortly afterward, the camera cuts to a large mass of leaves in what is presumably a backyard bordered by a woodland. The camera zooms in on the leaves, holds, then quickly zooms back out. Nothing terrifying; just a fun little clue for the police.

By the end of the video, the camera has cut back to the living room, where Tara, now again in her clothes from the beginning, has recommenced her solo piece for Satan, for whom she will continue to sing to for the rest of eternity.

Now, before you change your pants and go rushing to the phone to tip the authorities off, you first ought to know that, A, someone has already beaten you to it, and B, Tara is not the twisted contraption of a serial killer, but rather the twisted contraption of a Swedish robotics technician named John Bergeron. Bergeron first constructed Tara in the early 2000s with the humble intention of wedding his passions for cacophonies and freaky human facsimiles. “I Feel Fantastic” is only one of several 'music' videos starring the undisputed queen of the uncanny valley, whom Bergeron had hopes of propelling into national bastard-Terminator superstardom (and has in a way succeeded). His website for Tara, Android Music Videos, was hosted on Geocities up until Yahoo's discontinuation of the service in the United States in 2009, though the last time Android Music Videos had been updated before that point was in February of 2006. The original version of “I Feel Fantastic” is apparently 15 minutes long, and amply confirms why therapy should be a requirement for all mechanical engineering graduates.

As of the posting of this article, a mirror of Android Music Videos is active. Visit it if you dare: http://www.geocities.ws/androidmusicvideos/

Tara is also featured on the 90s-as-hell website Android World: http://www.androidworld.com/prod10.htm

Credit to Blumhouse for providing information on Bergeron: http://www.blumhouse.com/2016/04/12/i-feel-fantast...

And of course, the unholy video itself (credit to Creepyblog):

And if you really hate yourself, the 15-minute version (credit to Ejaculation Plan, which these videos are anything but):

Sweet dreams.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

Popular Right Now

To the guy that shot my brother...

17912
views

To the guy that shot my brother,

On January 9, 2019 my families entire life changed with one phone call. The phone call that my little brother had been shot in the face, no other details. We didn't need any other details. The woman on the phone who called us in full panic told us where he was so we went, as soon as possible. I don't think it helped that not even 10 min prior I talked to Zach on the phone.. kind of irritated with him, and the ONE TIME I didn't say 'I love you' as we hung up. Could've been the last time we ever spoke.. I remember pulling up to the hospital thinking 'this can't be real' 'it's not our Zach' 'this is just a dream Sarah, WAKE UP' I'd close my eyes really tight just to open them, I was still in the hospital emergency parking lot. I could still hear the ambulance sirens coming. It was all real.

The day our life's changed was definitely a test of faith. A test of how strong we were, as a family. I sat in that waiting room ready to see the damage that has been done to my sweet baby brother. Because at that point we had no idea how lucky he got. That glimpse of seeing Zach will haunt me forever. How helpless I felt in that exact moment frequently wakes me up from these horrific dreams I've been having ever since that day. That is a moment burned into my me and families brain forever.

You always hear about these things in the movies or on the news, a house being shot up, someone shooting another innocent person, not to care if they died on your watch. But we found ourselves on the news.. We have been confined to the hospital since that day. Running on barely any sleep, taking shifts of sleep so we don't make ourselves sick taking care of Zach. Watching him suffer. Undergoing surgeries, to repair the damage you did.

Before I proceed let me tell you a little something about the man you shot.

Zachary Keith Wright. A blonde hair blue eyed boy. Who could potentially be the most annoying human on the planet (possibly coming from his sister). A man who loves his God first, loves his family second. Perfect by no means, but almost perfect to me. A 19 year old who was to graduate high school this month. After graduation he was prepping to leave for Marine boot camp in the summer.. being in the military has been Zach's dream since he could talk. Literally. Running around, playing war with underwear on our heads, and finger guns. Some would say we looked like natural born assassins.. growing up he has been a country boy. Let me tell ya country to the core. He loves this country like he loves his family. He believes in helping people, taking charge in what's right, and never leaving a brother behind. He's lived by that his whole life. Until now....

The day you shot him. The day not only did you change my brothers life, you changed his families life too. The day you almost ripped my brother out of this world... for what? A misunderstanding? Because you've let something take ahold of your life that you can't let go you're willing to kill someone innocent over? Luckily for him, his guardian angels were protecting him in your time of cowardice. There were 3 times that day he should've died, the time you shot him, the time you tried to shoot him again as he stared you directly in the face, (even tho he couldn't talk I know you could read his eyes, and he still intimidated you. That's why you tried to pull the trigger again) and the time he was running out of the house. But he lived. A man who was shot in the face, didn't lay there helpless, didn't scream in agony. That MAN walked to the neighbors to get help. Why? Because he's a MAN, and because he's on this earth for a reason.

It's gonna sound a little strange not only to you, but the audience who is reading this. I must say thank you. Even in this situation, this was the best outcome we could get. He gets to live. He will make a full recovery. He will graduate. And he will go off into the Marines. You united my family together. Closer than ever. Thank you. You tested our faith and brought us closer to our God. Thank you. Because of your moment of weakness, you showed us what prayer could do. Heal anything. Thank you. This was a bump in the road, and a helluva way to kick off our year of 2019. But here we are.. all laying in the hospital. I'm looking around as mom is sleeping in her recliner chair exhasted but still here, Zach his awake playing his xbox all hooked up to machines, fighting to heal and get better. And of course I'm writing this letter to you.

See you in trial,

From the girl whose brother you shot.

'Fight the good fight' - 1 Tim 6:12 🤟🏼💙

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

21 Book Quotes That Have Helped Me Enter A New Chapter In Reality

Sometimes, you can learn more about the real world in books than you think.

11
views

I've read a lot of books and from each one, I've learned a lot. There are so many quotes that I got from each book I've read that I felt are important to keep in my life. They gave me new ideas and made me see in new perspectives. They could state something crazy or something that I already know and still make me think about it. There are also many ways to connect with each one, they can be interpreted in different ways, also. There are some quotes that are from the same book, but it just means I can take more from the book.

1. "It takes a lot of courage to stand up to our enemies, but it takes even greater courage to stand up to our friends." - Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone

2. "Life is a book and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read." - Clockword Princess

3. "You can only sharpen a blade so far. In the end, it comes down to the quality of the metal." - Six Of Crows

4. "Someday. I hated that word." - Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe

5. "No one ever thinks they're awful, even people who really actually are. It's some sort of survival mechanism." - Station Eleven

6. "Most successful missions are just a series of barely averted disasters." - A Torch Against The Night

7. "In short, the government is like a surgeons scalpel. It's an intrusive tool that can be used for good or for ill. Wielded carefully and judiciously, it will facilitate the body's remarkable ability to heal itself. In the wrong hands, or wielded overzealously with even the best of intentions, it can cause great harm." - Naked Economics

8. "Stories are wild creatures, when you let them loose, who knows what havoc they might wreck." - A Monster Calls

9. "If you let other people make the decisions, you can't complain about what they decide." - All Good Children

10. "Shame holds more value than a coin ever can." - Six Of Crows

11. "I'm afraid of a lot of things, but I'm not a coward. That's one thing I could never be. I'd hate myself." - Midnight At The Electric

12. "Do you think it's bad - to doubt?" "No. I think it's smart." - Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe

13. "Just because he's a good leader doesn't mean he's a good person." - An Ember In The Ashes

14. "For every man there exists bait he cannot resist swallowing." - Night Film

15. "Look, I do think that, um, the media actually made people accountable, because they made people think." - The Laramie Project

16. "That anyone is capable of anything at any time, given a certain set of condition." - Neverworld Wake

17. "I don't care if there are cracks in us, we are still us. We don't have to be perfect to be right." - Midnight At The Electric

18. "That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as longs as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace." - Huckleberry Finn

19. "It wasn't the right thing to say, but sometimes these things come out. You could take only so much blind, stupid ignorance without cracking around the edges a bit." - The Bane Chronicles

20. "When you fight a monster, be careful you don't become a monster." - Gemina

21. "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you." - The Fault In Our Stars

There are many, many more quotes that have inspired me and the number will just keep increasing with every book that I read. I will continue to learn from each book and discover new ideas and perspectives and travel to many places around the universe. Each quote is different in its own way. They may tell me the same thing, but it doesn't stop me from writing them down and sharing them with others.

Related Content

Facebook Comments