People tend to do things without any good reason. For example, I tend to deliberately wreak emotional distress upon myself via the Internet because, as a Caucasian heterosexual male living in the United States in late 2016, my life is so goddamn easy that it gets boring. Likewise, the probably-also-Caucasian-heterosexual-male undergraduate who created the artistic miscarriage that is “Agamemnon Counterpart” must have felt that having sanity is so goddamn boring that people ought to have the opportunity to expunge it.

“Agamemnon Counterpart” begins appropriately enough with a warning, the kind you'd see at the beginning of a VHS tape. In fact, that's exactly where the warning is ripped from, complete with the endearing piss-poor quality that nowadays takes effort to recreate. (Note: The word “endearing” is now meaningless. Sorry.)

Following up is a black screen with white text that provides some rather ominous context for what we're about to be subjected to . . .

. . . then promptly nullifies said provided context for comedic relief.

Seconds later, the text fades away, and we're met with—

Okay, this won't be easy for two big, fat, hard, throbbing reasons. One, because Vision and Hearing don't want to “make a new friend,” and two, there aren't enough languages in the universe to describe the things currently coexisting on the screen. Wooldoor from Drawn Together (I guess) is floating toward us at an excessive speed of above 0 mph while his, uh, friend helpfully tells us what vowel we should be screaming at themoment.

In speaking of screaming, there's plenty of that as well, brought to you by Jonny Quest (I guess) after accidentally spilling lamb's blood on a Ouija board.

After that we have . . .

Uh . . .

Well . . .

We have, uh . . .

Something . . .

Yes, my thoughts exactly! Thank you, forsaken Jonny Que—

Gah! Why would you do this, Jonny?! I though we were frie—!

Nope, not going to say it!

Ahhh . . . the part we've all been waiting for. Feel free to commemorate it with some Simon & Garfunkel.

So now that that's all over with (though your nightmares will beg to differ), it's time to crack this basket case wide open. Remember those undergraduate artist quips I'd made earlier? Well, they were only half conjecture. “Agamemnon Counterpart” is actually the product (or possibly byproduct) of film experimenter Micheal Robinson, and was created as an avant-garde submission for the Artsfest Film Festival back in 2004. Robinson is a member of the Moviate Collective film community, which I have reason to suspect is a front for some kind of Lovecraftian Muppet cult, where everybody laments over the bygone days of VHS technology and sucks at Greek mythology.

Credit to Blumhouse for providing information of Robinson: http://www.blumhouse.com/2016/04/07/agamemnon-coun..

Out of acid and or have utter disregard your spritual well-being? Fividtelefuzzerato's got you:

Dream sweetly, my friend.