It was around this time two years ago up in Boone when one of my friends was going through some stuff with his girlfriend. They were the couple, unfortunately, that there was always some sort of issue--legitimate or not. They were a roller coaster ride of manic-depressive mood swings, too many bottles of wine and one too many tears. It was always a little uncomfortable, either because he is/was one of my best friends and then she would always try to talk to me about it. We all thought they should have broken up, which they did many times. Many times. And after a really rocky start to the school year, they had broken up again.

Or so we thought. They started talking again not long after and everything seemed okay. Then one night, as my other friend and I were just getting back from the store and taking shots of Evan Williams Green label in the kitchen, I got a text from her. She asked me to pour her a shot. See, she had been taking my friend to campus for some reason, but mostly so they could talk. I figured that their talk hadn't gone well, so I just replied "okay" and set out a shot for her. She showed up at my house, crying. I saw blood on her lip. I wasn't sure what to think.

She told me that they started arguing and he hit her. Now, I've known this kid for a long time and he's never been that kind of guy, but they're never that kind of guy--until they are. I asked if she had called the cops or told anybody about what had happened. When she said no, I gave her 30 minutes. I told her that if she didn't call someone in 30 minutes, that I would.

So I ended up calling the cops on my good friend. Long story short, he got arrested, charged, the whole nine. And it was a terrible situation. I haven't experienced anything in this world quite like this--calling the cops on someone you know that well. I've known his family, his dogs, his exes, I even knew his friends at other colleges. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do.

Throughout the course of the investigation, I came to believe that he hadn't done wrong like I had thought and the court seemed inclined to agree. We look back on the situation now--we crack awful jokes at his expense and threaten to call the cops on each other occasionally. But this story isn't about the outcome of the investigation. This story is about how it felt to be in an investigation like this.

When one of your friends is accused of doing something wrong in college, it's unfortunate and, yeah it sucks, but it's rarely serious. It's a drinking ticket, pot charge--maybe a bar fight. Domestic violence charges are serious. They change the way that you see a person. You wonder, whether you think they did it or not, what led to that point? Have they always lashed out like this? Did something in them finally just snap? Even though I felt positive he didn't do it, I spent weeks wondering how someone who I knew for so long could do something like that.

Here's the thing that people either don't know about domestic violence, or maybe just one of the things that people don't talk about, but domestic violence touches everyone when it happens. Whether you're the victim, the accused, some sort of bystander like I was, everyone is impacted. Your family, your workplace, even your schoolwork suffers. I was angry at both of them for putting me in a situation where I was forced to choose sides. Trust me on this one, calling the cops on someone is the biggest form of "choosing sides" that you can do in this world. It was very hard to be in that situation for me, as I'm sure it was for them.

People say, "If you see something, say something." It's a lot easier to see something going wrong and just start playing Angry Birds on your phone (people still play Angry Birds, right?). Saying something isn't fun and it isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do--even my friend who got arrested says so. Though I was in a situation where I felt I had to "choose sides," I know I did the right thing.

Domestic violence is a huge issue in this country and in our world. It's happening whether we want it to or not and whether we want to believe it or not. It's something we need to talk about, whether it's on a forum like this or in real life. I've said before that all lives can't matter until black lives do, but all lives really can't matter if we aren't looking out for the people we supposedly love.