Let me start by saying I feel like I’m in the prime of my life. I just landed a great new job, I’ll be traveling, I’m in that young 20-something mindset of invincibility and quite frankly, I'm thinking I’m the shit. I don’t know if this is “peaking,” but if it is, I don’t think I actually care.
Maybe this all sounds a little cocky, saying that I think I’m the shit, but I'm not going to apologize. Let me tell you kittens, I have spent WAY too many years battling body image issues, an eating disorder, mean people who pick out my every flaw, and the nearly impossible-to-achieve images of the female body portrayed by the media. I’ve spent too many years feeling awkward and uncool. I’ve earned this confidence after the years of feeling terrible about myself. If looking at myself in the mirror before leaving the house and smiling as I think, “I’m cute, well-dressed and have a kick-ass personality” is cocky, then hey, I guess I’m the cockiest bitch out there.
Of course, every girl has their off days, but I have to say, the good days outnumber the bad. I’ve been in this post-grad stage of my life now since May, and by my side as I’ve reached this incredible and slightly super-human notion of being the shit was not a boy, but my best friends.
Hi, I’m Jordan, and I’m in a very serious relationship with my girlfriends.
Let me tell you, my best friends and I cry, a lot. It’s honestly because when we’re together, we think we are the funniest human beings to ever walk the Earth (we are) and that we deserve our own television show (we do) and we’re crying because we’re laughing so goddamn hard at each other and our own jokes. So we’re crying, spitting water out of our mouths and noses (I’m mostly the culprit here) and possibly even peeing our pants a little bit. Basically, there are liquids coming out of everywhere and it isn’t pretty, but we are, so that’s okay.
Best friends text you back and answer your phone calls. Best friends tell you how great you look, how pretty you are and how smart, confident and capable you are. They reassure you when you’re anxious, they give you advice and if there’s a chance you’re crying out of sadness instead of laughter, well, they’re there for you then too. They’re there when you wake up and they’re there when you go to sleep. They’re with you on your fitness journey or when you want to lay in bed, watch Netflix, and eat cookie dough out of the tub.
They’re the first ones to remind you of your worth when a boy doesn’t recognize it, or worse when you don’t recognize it in yourself. They tell you when you’ve had too much to drink, and they pass you the bottle of wine when you clearly haven’t had enough.
I can’t think of people I’d rather travel with, whether that just means an awesome trip for a night in the city, or staying at a sketchy motel in the middle of Pennsylvania. I can’t think of people I’d rather drive around running errands with, even if it means wasting hours, and money, in Target on stuff you don’t really need. I can’t think of people I’d rather get lost with, fall asleep next to, or make memories with. I can’t think of people I’d rather text throughout the day about all the little things that go on throughout it, even if they’re stupid and small occurrences.
I heard once that “Maybe boys are people to just have fun with and our real soulmates are our girlfriends,” and let me tell you, I can see that. Because even if one day I get married and have kids, (and all these amazing women I’m referring to are my bridesmaids) my future husband will possibly never see every facet of my personality that I’ve shown to my best friends, mostly because they weren’t there in the past during pivotal times that will shape me to be the person that he married. You’re a different person at different times of your life, humans are ever changing, and when you have friends for as long as I’ve had some of mine, you’ll realize that they’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly.
The best thing about this relationship I have with all of them is no matter how long we go without speaking or seeing each other, I know that unlike relationships with boys, they’re my friends for life.
