I apologize for my undying dedication and my loyalty that can be overwhelming. I'm sorry for always getting involved because I care. I'm sorry for my compassion. I'm not sorry that these are all qualities I have; I apologize because I am often taken for granted and I'm sorry I let you do that to me.
I am the person who will reach out to you when we haven't spoken in so long that you probably don't even remember who I am. I still care about everyone I've ever met. I see someone in need and I immediately ask if they're okay; it doesn't matter if they know me, I care. This is where I get in trouble.
People love this about me for the most part. What sucks for me is that I started surrounding myself with people who didn't actually care back and were only my friends when I could do something for them. I was too nice, too giving, and too naive. My parents tried to warn me, but I wouldn't listen.
You know who you are. You know that you don't give a sh*t about me and just didn't say anything until I was no longer of use to you. And now you sit in our hometown, b*tching about me because I actually came out on top of all of this. My real friends are telling you how great I'm doing and you don't want to hear it, claiming to hate me for no reason. You're bitter and I feel sorry for you. I'm sorry the nice people win sometimes.
Because of you, I am still kind but careful. I try to read people that might pretend to care about me. I have trust issues because I'm tired of being trampled on. You are self-absorbed, rude, and selfish until it's really down to the wire and all of a sudden you're there for me and the perfect friend. I'm tired of trying to figure out who you really are. I'm done reaching out to you, I'm done trying to be your friend and protect you when you don't deserve it. I am strong, independent, and now a little smarter when it comes to being used.
All I ask is that you keep in mind how much I've done for you and am willing to still do for you if you asked me. I don't deserve the hate from the home front, I never did, and I never will. I know you will probably never talk to me again unless it's pleasantries in public, and I'm working on not giving a sh*t when that happens instead of wondering what happened to us when I went to college and you stayed behind. We were best friends, we know too much. Have a beautiful life, I still wish you the best after everything you've done to me.
Love,
Stephanie
