I love to read and be on top of issues around our nation and internationally. There are many things that I love to be into. One day I was at store looking for some stuff to add into my groomsmen’s and bridesmaids gift bags. I honestly wanted to buy some of them little bibles, but decided not to after all. As I was walking up and down aisles I noticed a rack 25% off these books.
I walked over to look at all the books and I came across a book with the title Verbal & Emotional ABUSE victory over verbal and emotional abuse by June Hunt. I immediately grabbed it. I’ve been wanting for months to write about abuse, any abuse. I feel that it is important that people know there are many types of abuse. Anyway I grabbed the book and went through the pages and bought it. I told myself affirmation for me to write a desire of mine. I’m a survivor of abuse and I eternally feel education should be out there in the world. It’s as if its hush hush, people lie and deny abuse or maybe not realize they are being abused or the abuser. But how can people continue to lie or deny abuse if the education is out there with valid facts and evidence.
What is abuse? Verbal, Emotional, Physical, Mental:
There are so many types of abuse that someone at some point has come across it, but may not have noticed it or they themselves are the abuser but may not see it and is in a deep denial of their actions, while others are severely intentionally trying to harm someone. I have been struggling with how to write on the topic of abuse because it’s a very sensitive issue for those who have been abused and the fact there are so many different types of abuse. I wasn’t sure which abuse one I should contribute to. It’s been tugging at my heart to write about Passive-Aggressive Behaviors. We don’t always assume someone is being abusive or we are the abuser or the one being abused but there is fact someone is the abuser and the one who is the abused.
What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior?
Passive-Aggressive Behavior is a form of disguised, camouflaged, obscured or hush-hush control, which is called covert behavior. Then there is clear, definite, observable and visible also known as overt behavior. Passive-aggressive people express their anger indirectly and seek to make their points in evasive, underhanded, or deceitful ways. Some people are unaware they are engaging in this type of hurtful behavior or its patterns but there are those who are doing it with intentional actions (with great intent to hurt someone, whether it be mental, verbal, physical, emotional).
Some tactics of the emotional abuse:
Invalidating- “I never said that.” “Your recall is wrong.” “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
Minimizing- “You’re just too sensitive.” “You’re exaggerating.” “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Countering- “You couldn’t possibly feel that way.” “You’ve got it all wrong.” “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Trivializing - “If you had really studied for the test, you could have made a 100 instead of a 98.” “Your efforts really fell short.” “You’re giving yourself too much credit.”
Invalidate: Deprive, make, negate, refute, an argument, statement, or theory, official document or procedure. Example
Other types of abuse the methods of sabotage; to gain all control and power, fostering chaos, telling lies or half-truths, procrastinating, being ambiguous, being chronically late, being ambiguous, instructing, passively indifferent, protecting and helping, being a “quick-change artist”, withholding affirmation, crossing boundaries.
If for any reason you feel that you are being abused in any kind of way reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 and for (800) 787-3224 (TTY) or there is also a chat online help.
