I look back at the moment when I turned around to see my best friend on one knee. And while I seriously can't remember what he said because my mind blacked out when wedding planning gets stressful I look back at that moment and all the butterflies come swarming back.
And let me tell ya guys, wedding planning is a whole new level of stress. It's bearable and you can get through it and still make hilarious memories along the way but it's not always a walk in the park.
You are trying to figure out finances. You're working out a guest list without offending anyone. You're trying to get over the idea that you could offend someone.
You are becoming a part of another family. You and your fiance are almost constantly opposite on how important certain areas of the wedding are. Or they just say, "I'm cool with whatever babe you just do it all." That's fine and dandy sometimes but a little input would be nice.
Or you could have my fiance who is a groomzilla. Which for our wedding is perfect!
And you have this unspoken pressure to make your wedding stand out from all others and be complete magic. Yikes! Let me just say this to my fellow couples, just do you! It will be magical because it's a celebration of the two of you!
But with all these pressures and possible stressors, for us, our stress was more personal. Putting pressure on our parents.
We want our wedding to be fun and enjoyable and relaxing for everybody. And knowing my mom and dad they may be more preoccupied if we had our wedding at their home. Yes, it's beautiful and could totally work. My mom even pushed for it and I could see our wedding there. But the more we had conversations about money and venues the more stress it put on my mom and I and our relationship was hurting.
But there came a point when my mom said, "You know, I kinda like the idea of not having any responsibilities at your wedding." And I love my mother dearly and I seriously value her advice and input! I am also a notorious people pleaser so to hear those words come out of her mouth was like the green light to look other places.
Venues cost money. The amount varies based on the size of your wedding, the date of your wedding, what catering services they have or don't have. Service charges, rental fees. Hidden charges are what really get ya. But for us having a venue that comes with amenities such as set up and take down and a Day Of Coordinator was what really sold us.
We are a young couple with bills to pay and student loans to pay off and the cash isn't really rolling in. And while we originally wanted to save money on a wedding and spend it on a honeymoon. We knew that for our relationship personally and our relationships with family, putting less pressure on others is what we truly wanted for our big day.
Now in NO WAY am I bashing backyard weddings or weddings hosted by a family member or friend. Backyard weddings are just as successful and beautiful! Just for us personally, we want to go another route.
We want a venue because we want everyone to be fully present. Leave the setup and take down to the professionals. Come to the party, celebrate with us, and then leave with no added expectations or to-do lists.
The location of your wedding does not make or break your marriage. You don't need to spend a ton of money, or you can spend as much as you want.
Because at the end of the day, you'll still be married to your person. A wedding is a celebration of love and commitment. So do what makes you two happy. Make it a celebration you'll remember. Big or small, venue or backyard your wedding will be one for the record books!