Various Phases in Growing and Evolving Relationships

Various Phases in Growing and Evolving Relationships

Each relationship was a container for evolution, a vehicle for transforming the unloved parts of myself.
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All growing and evolving relationships need a strong foundation called love. Without love, affection and proper understanding relationships cannot thrive. So if you are really aspiring for a strong relationship make sure that your relationship has enough of Love in it. Normally we see many of the relationships heading for a breakup. The main reason for most of the breakups in this world is lack of understanding. All growing and evolving relationships suffer conflict. So you need to have proper understanding and clarity about how conflicts actually hamper most of the relationships.

First of all you need to ask yourself some questions. Are you really in love with the person or are you just there for the sake of the momentary comfort or due to attraction . You need to be very clear in the answer because if you are not in love with the other person then your relationship is not going to go any further. Some of the other day it is going to fall flat. So in all growing and evolving relationships people should be very clear about the exact feelings about the other person in the relationship. You need to accept the other person as he or she is. If you actually come out with lots of conditional clauses about the other person then the relationship is probably going to end up in a breakup instead of becoming stronger. So this is the reason why you need to be very clear about your feelings inside.

Not only that, in all growing and evolving relationships the main thing that one needs to sit and analyze about is conflicts in the day-to-day affairs. If there is any kind of misunderstanding you need to be tolerant towards the other person and not only that, enough of space should be given and taken by both in the relationship. If you are completely suffocating the other person in the relationship, there are chances that the other person might want to escape from this relationship. So ample of space is part and parcel of any growing and evolving relationships. So make sure that the other person is given enough of freedom. Not only that, you need to trust the other person completely and unconditionally. If you actually suspect the other person then there are chances that the other person might feel suffocated in the relationship. So trust factor is also a part of growing and evolving relationships.

To this way there are several factors which are a part of growing and evolving relationships. It is not easy to sustain a relationship and survive for years. A strong foundation is required for that and love is the major element that plays an important role to build a strong foundation. It is really very difficult to accept any body unconditionally but still it is the fact that you need to, if you really want a strong relationship. But it really is worth it because relationship can completely change human being and give a lot of emotional comfort.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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My 'Boyfriend Standards' List Hasn't Changed Since I Was 14, And Thank God For That

And I found a man that matches every one of them.

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When I was a freshman in high school, I bought my first journal and the first thing I did in it was write down a pretty extensive list of everything a man who wanted to date me had to possess.

Call me picky, call me extra, but I'd say it was one of the smartest things I did as a fourteen year old. Not only did it make me sit down and actually think about what I desired in a partner but it also made me acknowledge what my time, love, and attention was worth. Throughout high school I didn't date a single guy.

First year of college I met a guy, we were best friends, everyone convinced us we'd be so cute together, so we dated.

But not for long. He met a couple of my standards but definitely not all of them. I was really just an excited freshman who said, "why not go for it? We're already best friends!?" After we broke up, I dug out my now 4 year old journal and opened up to the first page. I read down the list and realized how none of those desires changed and how far he was from the list as a whole. I decided to stick to the list until I came across a man who embodied every bullet point.

- Christian/Catholic

- Sense of Humor

- Cares about personal appearance and hygiene

- Caring and selfless

- Athletic

- Smart

- Responsible

- Someone I'm able to completely open up to

- Chaste

- Sweet and loving

- Someone who treats me like the best and most precious gift from God

- Someone who never fails to make me laugh, smile, and enjoy life.

- Someone who prays with me

- Someone who never fails to amaze me with the way he cares for others and teaches others

- Someone who leads me closer to God

- Goofy

- Understanding

- Pursues me every day

Kinda well thought out huh? Kinda also really long huh? Like there's no way someone could match all of my boyfriend requirements right? Wrong. When you hold to your worth and demand nothing less, when you cling to Christ and pray that He reads your hearts desires, and when you let Him take control, he'll prove His perfect plan and providence in unlikely ways.

I found a man who is God fearing and a truth seeker.

A man who has the goofiest most dad-joke sense of humor ever. Someone who always looks presentable (maybe that's the Marines in him). A man who is so caring and selfless time and time again. Someone who is athletic and who I can compete with at the gym. Someone who has wisdom and is smart and responsible. I found a man who I can open up to and let all of my guards down. Someone who seeks a chaste life and relationship with me. A man who is sweet and loving and who respects me and holds me up as a daughter of the King. Someone who makes me laugh the most, even in inappropriate scenarios. A man that will pray with me and for me. I found a man who constantly looks out for others, lends a helping hand, and wills to educate those he can.

He leads me closer to Christ daily, understands me better than anyone, and pursues me day in and day out.

I didn't know this man existed almost 8 years ago when I first wrote out this list. But my standards didn't waiver, and if they did, the relationship failed. Holding to this list made me hold onto hope that the desires in my heart were not only mine, they were Christ's for me as well.

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