Name a person who comes to mind when someone uses the word “manly.” Terry Crews may not have been the first to come to mind, but I assume most people would acknowledge that he fits the mold. I first came to know about Terry Crews from his work in acting, specifically as Latrell Spencer in "White Chicks." He played an over the alter-ego of himself. Latrell was still an athlete, still rich, still successful; naturally he also had Terry Crews’ powerful build. But Latrell was also felt incredibly, and sometimes hilariously, entitled; entitled to a rich upper-class society, to his fame and fortune; and in particular to any woman he was interested in.
With that particular character associated with Terry Crews’ face, I recently had the privilege of watching Crews speak, without his bigoted persona, at a forum on masculinity. The beginning was bizarre overall, as it's always difficult to watch actors coming out of their character. But once the initial shell shock was over, I delved deeper into the insight of his talk. I can’t say I really agreed with his talk at first. But then he brought up a very simple idea, that accomplishments start to become associated with self-value: “I thought I was my wins. I thought that my value was in what I did. This is why it’s so important to men, what they do.” This resonated with me quite a bit. I am not sure if this resonates exclusively with men, though I have my doubts. Regardless, I am a man and this is a feeling I struggle with at times. Thus, I really urge anyone reading to think about this idea.
Personally, my mentality differed in some ways with what Crews described. While, he described the privilege he would feel through his accomplishments, I have almost the opposite feeling at times: the loss of self-worth as a result of failures. It’s a strange concept, since the friends you have, relationships you build, and bonds you create should not be developed as a result of trophies. And yet, this mentality can be present at times. Ultimately, Crews of course denied the acceptability of such a train of thought. It’s important to really think about the measures we use to determine self-worth.
