We as human beings all have a myriad of goals and desires that drive us to push ourselves.
Many of us have dream schools, a significant other who we want to make happy at all times, or a job that we believe we will just DIE if we don’t get. These dreams are all-consuming, and are wonderful for motivating people to exert as much effort as possible to make them reality.
However, the problem is, sometimes, no matter how hard we work, we won’t get that admissions letter, or the person we depend on the most turns out to cause a lot more harm than good in our lives. I’m not saying it’s not great to fall in love or to have goals for the future, but we have to stop tearing ourselves apart over outcomes that we can’t control.
I’d be lying if I said being in these situations weren’t devastating.
How do you move on from something that you put every ounce of your being into trying to succeed at?
How do you handle the betrayal of someone you thought had only your best interest at heart?
We become so consumed by our “failure” that we begin to question our own efforts and value. “Why wasn’t I good enough?” and “What did I do wrong?” constantly circle throughout our minds, and slowly, we fall into the trap of thinking that we didn’t try hard enough, or that we won’t amount to who we thought we could be.
However, I am here to tell you this: you are defined by much more than your failures.
Yes, these situations are heart-wrenching. They challenge your character, but they should not have the ability to destroy your fight. As cliche as this sounds, every single thing that happens in your life is an experience to grow. You have the option of dwelling in grief and self-pity when faced with adversity (hint hint: less desirable option), or you can learn from these less than desirable situations, and become stronger from them.
Abandon your pride and don't be afraid to admit that you failed, but ensure that you evaluate where your areas of weakness are and strive to strengthen them. Use this pain as motivation to become an even greater version of yourself.
If you allow your confidence to be crippled by a single instance of defeat, you will begin to fear failure more than you value success.
As Winston Churchill once so eloquently said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
I challenge you to continue to work diligently to reach your dreams, and stop plaguing yourselves with thoughts of how things "might have been." Instead, focus on what you know they can be.
