I recently read an article entitled “No, You Are Not 'Running Late'—You Are Rude and Selfish." It was written by a man with a strong dislike for people who are habitually late.
In it, he takes an aggressive approach condemning consistent “latecomers” as disrespectful people with a serious character flaw.
This writer is obviously very passionate about this subject, but the moment that he cited lateness as a way to judge others, I had to pause. Here in the United States, time is money. We are taught that if you show up late to a scheduled event, you are not demonstrating respect for those around you. I agree with this… Time is very important. But what about the moments when time is more than money? What about when time is family, people, relationships? What if time was not the most important thing?
When I studied abroad in the Dominican Republic, I quickly learned about “Dominican time,” the idea that running smoothly is more important than running quickly. It means, more than anything, that there is no rush. Life will continue to move, and life moving is not a reason to stress. If I’m late, the people I kept waiting are not the only ones to worry about; the people I was spending time with before are also important. This is what is called a “collectivist” mentality.
The US is a very individualistic society, meaning that the individual is more valuable than the group. In many ways, this keeps us moving forward. It fosters progress, advancement and self-improvement in society. In other ways, though, that mentality neglects relationships, family, and other people. When “my time” is the most important thing, there is never enough of it.
If showing up late is a universal character flaw, the majority of Dominicans (and Russians and Grecians and Peruvians and Romanians) would be terrible people. However, this writer is working within a particular context. He is not in Russia or Peru or the Dominican Republic, and it would be unfair of me to dismiss his claim altogether. In his context, and the context of the 21st century United States, timeliness is an important habit. Living in the Dominican Republic taught me that other habits are important too, and when I let "my time" dictate my life, there is no time for others.
One afternoon during my time abroad, I got lost on the busiest street in the city. I had to ask for directions at least three times, but there was not a single person who denied my plea for help. One individual even helped walk me to my destination. I couldn’t help but imagine the response I might have gotten in a big American city, and the people who may not have even stopped walking to answer my questions. I don’t think I will ever forget the woman who, after seeing my light hair and assuming I was from the US, said to me, “In the States, everyone is in a hurry.”
