At some point in one’s life, someone will get involved in a toxic relationship that they feel they can’t seem to get out of. You wonder if your feelings will ever be valid. You wonder if anything will ever change for the better this time. In a way, you’re putting so much into the relationship or friendship that you feel stuck, a burden, or maybe even obligated depending on the circumstance or situation. All the things that you tell yourself at some point and then look the other way when something good happens for a day.

You start to lie to yourself again and say, “This time it will be different,” only to be eventually be proven wrong once again. You start to lay in bed at night and wonder where did it really go wrong? You may even start to blame yourself and not realize that it may not actually even be you, yet you feel like it’s your fault anyways because your self-esteem is completely crushed. Some nights you cry. Other nights? You’re wasting your time being filled with anger because you get ignored for a reason that may make absolutely no sense to you.

You want answers. You want to ask your significant other or friend in the relationship so many things. Why aren’t I enough? Why don’t I matter to you? Why is what I feel constantly disregarded? Why do you ignore me whenever you feel like it? Why do you think so damn low of me? Why do you think this way towards someone who puts their all into you, spends their time into trying to prove to others that you are different, and shows more to love to you than anyone does for me? This whole running back becomes a dangerous habit. Your expectations still remain too high and you feel nothing but constant disappointment. You, sometimes, may even spend your time trying to get them to listen to you because you want to be genuinely, truly heard or cared for. Of course, the response you may get isn’t what you expected or if there even is one right? Someday you’re going to have to ask yourself where you really stand in the relationship or friendship.

Once you do, know that you will feel so much relief once you decide to walk away. It will be one of the hardest decisions you’ll make, but at the end of the day, you deserve more. Each and every one of us deserve a positive life in a positive environment. Your feelings matter and how you feel in the relationship is just as important. Everything is a two-way street regardless. If the person doesn’t see nor realize that, then what does that tell you about him/her? Happiness is important for the both of you even if it means not being in each other’s life as hard as that sounds. I know what it’s like where you sit there day by day telling yourself how if you walk away, you’ll wonder how they’re doing living life without you. You’re going to want to know what’s happening in their life from time to time and just that thought alone kills you because you don’t want to think about that. You wonder what they’ll do once they finally hit rock bottom. Will he/she realize the damage she’s done or will you continue to be forgotten? So you brush these thoughts aside and you continue to lose yourself in the unhealthy, toxic relationship trying to help them and do everything in the world for them, but nothing for yourself.

Yes, you will be grieving. It might feel like it’s the end of the world, but not forever. What you’re going through now in this relationship will make you stronger in the end once you decide for yourself that you are worth more than just being a convenience to someone that you may love more than anything in the world who rarely shows care for you at all and that you deserve someone who actually genuinely puts their time and effort into you willingly out of real love. You will live and learn from this relationship or friendship by being better prepared in the future to not expect as much from others. You’re valid, too, so don’t forget that ever. Build up that courage and walk away for yourself. It’s okay to be selfish if that’s the case.