I am not a feminist. But I like the idea of privileges and rights as a woman that I currently do not have. I am not an extreme feminist, but I do like to be treated with respect when I work hard to earn it. I enjoy getting jobs not because of my breast size, but because of the depth of my mind. I enjoy fantasizing about the day that I get to walk down the street no longer afraid of being attacked by the creepy guy that I just rejected. I like answering my phone knowing the number and not feeling fearful if it is an unknown number. I want to have the ability to prevent unwanted pregnancy without having to pay a high price every month. More than anything else, I want to be treated like a human being.
Recently, I was walking down the street and this young man walked up to me. Tall, dark hair, didn’t seem too harmless. That is, until he consistently asked for my number and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I gave him a fake number but stupidly a real name because I was scared and didn’t think on my feet. That night, I get a call from him. I have no idea how he got my real number, but he did. He then ran up to me again while I was on my usual route to my rehearsal. While the situation is under control, I am still scared when I walk on the street. I have read articles about women who get murdered for rejecting a guy on the street or in a bar. I don’t want to be a statistic. I want to be a person with ambitions and goals. I want to change the world and society is making that difficult.
When I went into a hospital in intense pain from my Mirena birth control (which I just had taken out), I was put on the way bottom of the list. When I came in with a fever of 104 and we had feared that I went into Toxic Shock, we still waited for hours. The hospital didn’t have a gynecologist on call and tests were repeated multiple times because of lost paperwork. They didn't "allow" me to get it taken out in the ER.
It is my body and yet, I wasn't allowed. I have been in two separate ER’s for the same issue but since my issue involves the vagina, I have to wait for the drunken idiot with the broken arm to be helped. This must change. I want to be able to safely use pills without having to pay $50 a month for them. I want to have tampons and pads that don’t cost the price of a meal. I want to be treated like I matter. I want to feel important when I am in a hospital terrified for my life because I know what toxic shock can do to you.
When I was raped in my dorm room, the first question that was asked was “Why was he in your room?” It shouldn’t matter why he was in my room (though that was explained in my first ever article), but for some reason, society is more focused on whether or not the woman is lying rather than whether or not the guy is guilty. Why is this? We are seen as too emotional and over exaggerative. Our integrity is called into question more often and we have to fight for justice that we almost never get. Women are seen as less than men. I mean, just look at our pay.
These are only a couple of examples of why our society is letting us down. Changes must be made. We fucking matter! We are smart, wise, strong enough to bare children, and we work our hardest in this world. Being a woman takes away many privileges, but it doesn’t have to. It is empowering, but it can also be terrifying.
I shouldn’t have to keep a check list whenever I leave the house so I don’t forget my equipment for self defense. I shouldn’t have to be worried about leaving the house after 10 pm. I shouldn't have to be scared for the future when my job will pay less than a man who is doing the exact same job. I want to raise my daughter in a world where she won't have to worry about the repercussions of being a woman, having periods, being fertile, and having estrogen. We deserve respect. We deserve safety. We deserve happiness.
WE. FUCKING. MATTER.
