A haiku, as many of you know, is a short Japanese poem that consists of three lines with a five-seven-five syllable pattern. Today, I discovered it is also the ideal method for describing various aspects of college life due to its straightforwardness and brevity. I mean, really, who has time to read entire paragraphs during college?
On Dining Hall Food
This meatloaf is gross
Time to get pizza again
Oh wait, it sucks too
On Going to Class
I don’t want to go
No participation grade?
I will stay in bed
On Sunday Mornings
Brightness overwhelms
Sitting in the shower stall
“I’m sorry,” I text
On Procrastinating
One more episode…
Two more hours on Twitter…
C on the exam
On Working Out
I can’t find parking
Or a vacant bike machine
Time to surrender
On Parents
Thanks for the money
Please send me more if you can
I am always broke
On Roommates*
Please stop doing things
Like not cleaning the kitchen
I have seen your butt
On Other Majors
Your major is lame
My major is also lame
Don’t talk about it
On Being Recognized
“Hey, good to see you!”
I don’t know what your name is
I’m being polite
On Animated Movies
These are really good
I’m reverting to childhood
I really don’t care
On Being Sick
I need my mommy
This NyQuil makes me feel weird
Where is my mommy?
On Dating
What happened to us?
Why do we think going on
Dates is a big deal?
On Pickup Lines
Oh god, that was bad
Has that ever really worked?
I truly hope not
On Snapchat
I posted five times
At the same exact party
What have I become?
On Dealing with Life
Everything is fine
But also, nothing is fine
Please light me on fire
*I would like to clarify that my roommates are great and always clean the kitchen. This haiku was written for the sake of being relatable and does not reflect personal experience. Same goes for many of the above poems.
