As our world continues to advance, we as humans are continually challenged to answer questions that have never been posed before. With population becoming larger than it ever, and global connections erupting more and more, many questions come alongside the advent of social media. There are definitely upsides to this influx of new technology: new jobs have been created, we as humans can access knowledge that is readily available, and communication across the world is contained in one laptop or phone. However, like every innovation, it comes with its negatives. Throughout my high school experience, I constantly heard comments from older peers and adults condemning the use of cell phones, iPads, social media, and technology in general. In fact, if I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say “Social media is ruining this generation” or “I have a ‘no selfie’ rule” I’m pretty sure I’d be able to finance my college education. This all goes to say that there is a very big move to condemn and belittle all these new-fangled advancements in communication and productivity, and while some arguments have valid points, I believe that much good can come from embracing the world’s updates as they come. Trust me, there’s a way to be an educated, balanced human being and posses a fairly large online presence and I’ll give you a hint: it doesn’t start with technology, it starts with you.

These past few years have signaled a huge shift in my life. With my first year of college under my belt, I’ve gone through a lot of little personal adjustments. I had my own bouts of depression and anxiety throughout high school, much like many of my peers, unfortunately. I felt very much alone, and there were many times when social media sites added to that feeling. Seeing other people going to exciting places, declarations of love and best-friendship, and even people I assumed were my friends claiming otherwise could all send me into a horrible mood and mindset altogether. Some days it didn’t take much, either; maybe a single post could ruin the day for me. As I have worked to overcome this apathy and anxiety, I have realized the reality of a couple things:

My personal feelings are not the product of social media alone.

While viewing sites like Facebook certainly could put a crimp in my day, it didn’t have to and it doesn’t have to. A simple website should not have the power to make you feel badly about yourself, whether it’s about your friends, your body, your spirituality, whatever. The way you feel is your decision; taking a step back and looking at things objectively is key. Before you even get onto Facebook, or Instagram, or Tumblr, you have to decide who and what you will serve. Resolving your worth in the moment leads to nothing but ambiguity and doubt. It’s about cultivating yourself, answering the hard questions about identity and worth; that is something no one should do for you. Doing this makes it so much easier to brush little comments/posts off, because you don’t need someone else to tell you about you; you already know.

Selfies are not the end of the world.

Here’s my opinion: I love selfies. It’s pretty straightforward. Selfies, groupies, and everything in between, are all valuable. I don’t think there’s any reason that you should be deterred from posting that cute outfit, or new make up attempt, or picture with your best friend(s). There have been many times when I look back at my life and realize that there are gaps in my photo album. I’ve missed seasons in my life simply because all around me I hear “Selfies are stupid.” Don’t let that stop you. Pictures are about remembering where you’ve been; it’s the closest we can get to bottling up the feeling of a moment. Whether it’s the best time of your life, or one of the worst, know where you’ve come from and what you’ve come through. Embrace life wherever you’re at. Our world has a way of somehow distinguishing between “living” and “having a life,” and I’m here to tell you that just because you’re not at the same point as someone else, it doesn’t mean you have no life. Life is not defined by comparison to others. Wear that outfit, use that make up or don’t use it, take a selfie and enjoy the moment you’re living in. You’ll look back on that picture and feel proud, you’ll be able to look at how far you’ve grown. Love yourself for who you are now, and for what you will become. Love yourself because you are worthy to be loved, and not because Instagram, or Facebook says so. My posting of selfies serves to proclaim to the world, not to ask it a question of who is worthy and who is not. I have already decided that I am.

Social media may well indeed have its negatives, but it is a fact of life here in the 21^st Century and utilizing it can bring major benefits. Utilization and idolization are different things, however; the ability of utilization means it is a tool, not a power, and we must use it as such. The power to be a balanced, self assured human being is up to us, not the opinions of the Internet.