USA And North Korea Conflict To Be Settled Once and For All in "Magic: The Gathering Duel"

USA And North Korea Conflict To Be Settled Once and For All in "Magic: The Gathering Duel"

The missile tests and talk of annihilation were just a cover up for the true battle ahead.
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The alleged dotard, Donald Trump, has revealed today that the heated verbal conflict between the USA and North Korea will be drawn to a close through a reign of fire not on earth, but in the realm of the Plainswalker.

The president of the USA and the supreme leader of North Korea will be crafting decks from Magic: The Gathering trading cards and settling their differences once and for all in a duel that will change politics forever.

The news of this international trading card duel comes shortly after Trump told the UN that "we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea," he later added, "at Magic: The Gathering."

The supreme leader of North Korea made a curt response in his open letter to the united states, stating that "[he] will make the man holding the prerogative of the supreme command in the US pay dearly for his speech calling for totally destroying the DPRK at Magic: the Gathering."

Analysts have suggested that Kim Jong Un may be entering the duel with a pure red deck, after the supreme leader's statement, "I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged US dotard with fire."

Though it is not certain, the supreme leader's potentially rash actions IRL concerning missile tests causes analysts to link abilities such as haste and first-strike to his potential creature choices.

It is not yet certain which colour(s) Trump will be using, but it is rumoured that he likes to play defensive, with a focus on summoning wall type creatures.

Members of Trump's cabinet have leaked tactical information, which suggest that the president may be planning to use North Korea's mana pool to pay for the summoning of his own walls.

No duel date has been set, but a US spokesperson alluded to the Rivals of Ixalan release in January next year, which suggests it could be then.

For many this has come as a surprise, but Richard Garfield, creator of the internationally popular trading card game, reveals that this method of resolving political issues has already been used on several other occasions, most notably (though unsuccessfully) by Colonel Gadaffi during the Arab Spring.

"It's a much cheaper way for countries to end arguments that, really, are impossible to resolve any other way.

He continued, "So far, the world leaders have used old, murderous methods of war alongside the Magic battles to cover up the truth, because they are embarrassed about playing it and don't want to look like massive nerds in front of everyone.

"But this match could change everything, even end traditional, bloody war altogether."

The duel will be covered on all major sporting channels, such as Sky Sports and ESPN.

It is also rumoured that the UN is working closely with Richard Garfield and production company Wizards of the Coast to create a new expansion pack suitable for an end-all Isreal vs Palestine match up.

Excited for the duel? Think all of politics should be dealt with like this? Share your thoughts below!

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I'm An 18-Year-Old Female And I Will Never Be A Feminist

Honestly, I'd rather be caught dead than caught calling myself a modern-day feminist.
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"A man told me to have a good day... I'm triggered." How ludicrous does that sound? Tune in because that is the extent of modern day feminism.

Sure, I think boys are stupid and that I'm probably better than 90% of the male population, but that doesn't make me a modern-day feminist. Now I believe that woman should stand up for themselves, and Golding's quote: "I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been," is by far one of my favorite quotes... but modern day feminism is not something I want to be associated with.

I'm all for "anything you can do I can do better," and "We can do it!" but realistically speaking in some situations, that isn't feasible. As an 18-year-old woman who works out regularly, and is stronger than the average female, I couldn't carry a 190-pound man back to a safe zone after he was shot on the front line of a war even if I tried. It is not anatomically possible for a grown woman to be as strong as a fully developed male.

Reality check: Men and women are not equal.

They are not physically equal, they are not mentally equal. Modern-day feminism is equality between the two genders, but corrupt and on steroids. I support what feminism used to be. I support women who work hard and have goals and ambition... not girls who hate men and stomp around with no shirts on to piss off the public. Feminism has developed into a polluted teaching that young men and women are plunging into.

We are built dissimilarly.

The human brain is literally an organ that is sex oriented. There is a cognitive difference, that singlehandedly destroys gender equality.

I will not spend my time running a revolution against anyone who likes Donald Trump. I am not going to binge watch Trump's twitter in an effort to start some leftist gob of drama. I refuse to be part of this head hunt to attack all Republicans on the newest Instagram post made about how feminism is stupid. I do not hate men, and society would crash and burn without the successful men and women who work together to create what we call the United States of America.

Why, you ask? Why are the 15-25 year olds of our society clinging to feminism? They are hopping on the rapidly growing bandwagon where all the hipsters, feminists and Trump haters reside. It's "cool" to hate Donald Trump. Twitter is a world of liberalism, hatred and fake love towards all. Social media is where this generation is living — and modern-day feminism brews there.

We need to keep separation in the household within roles.

We must raise our children to do what they are best at rather than trying to do something they are incapable of just to prove an irrelevant point.

Women must stand up for what they believe in and be strong in their shoes, while not getting so caught up in what your modern day feminist says she thinks is right.

We cannot let this briskly changing society sway us away from what is going to keep the world working precisely.

Cover Image Credit: Macey Joe Mullins

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This Is What NOT Being In A Sorority Means To Me

Sorority life just isn't for everyone, and that is okay.

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Before I came to college, I had the mindset that I was going to join a sorority, and that it would be like everything from what I have seen in the movies.

I ended up participating in sorority recruitment and ended up dropping out of it on the second to last day. Sorority life just was not the same as I had thought it would be. It has a lot of fees and rules and I felt at that time really upset that I was not in a house but at the same time I was pretty relieved. Then came the time that all the freshman girls in my dorm hall went to their bid day events and got to meet their big sisters, and I was honestly upset that I hadn't have joined a house, yet so much has changed from then to now.

Now I am in my junior year and honestly, I am very content that I never joined a sorority.

As the years went on, I just realized that Greek life was not for me and that I really do not like the system as a whole. The woman and men in Greek life both have very different rules they have to abide by and I just saw the whole system as pretty unfair for the woman in it. Also, there are very different prices that each gender has to pay to be in a house, where men have to pay a lot less.

The main reason I am happy I did not end up in a sorority is that I have made so many amazing college friends without being in a house, and I think that not being in a house made me more outgoing, in general.

I made tons of friends by living in the dorms, and as the years progressed, I really felt more comfortable reaching out to people in my classes and being more open and outgoing in my everyday life. I also feel that I have more free time to do the things I actually love to do without having the weight of an additional commitment on my back, because being in a sorority, from what I have seen from my friends in houses, is a huge time commitment. Since I have decided to not be in a house, I have started to look into other things like traveling, and I have had much more time to focus on my main passion, which is writing.

This being said, even though sorority life is not for me, that doesn't mean it isn't for everyone and I have lots of friends who really enjoy it.

If you love being in a house then enjoy being in one, and if you aren't in a house, don't be discouraged because it just might not be your thing. Whatever you do though just make sure to enjoy your time in college, and make it the best time you can.

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