The alleged dotard, Donald Trump, has revealed today that the heated verbal conflict between the USA and North Korea will be drawn to a close through a reign of fire not on earth, but in the realm of the Plainswalker.
The president of the USA and the supreme leader of North Korea will be crafting decks from Magic: The Gathering trading cards and settling their differences once and for all in a duel that will change politics forever.
The news of this international trading card duel comes shortly after Trump told the UN that "we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea," he later added, "at Magic: The Gathering."
The supreme leader of North Korea made a curt response in his open letter to the united states, stating that "[he] will make the man holding the prerogative of the supreme command in the US pay dearly for his speech calling for totally destroying the DPRK at Magic: the Gathering."
Analysts have suggested that Kim Jong Un may be entering the duel with a pure red deck, after the supreme leader's statement, "I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged US dotard with fire."
Though it is not certain, the supreme leader's potentially rash actions IRL concerning missile tests causes analysts to link abilities such as haste and first-strike to his potential creature choices.
It is not yet certain which colour(s) Trump will be using, but it is rumoured that he likes to play defensive, with a focus on summoning wall type creatures.
Members of Trump's cabinet have leaked tactical information, which suggest that the president may be planning to use North Korea's mana pool to pay for the summoning of his own walls.
No duel date has been set, but a US spokesperson alluded to the Rivals of Ixalan release in January next year, which suggests it could be then.
For many this has come as a surprise, but Richard Garfield, creator of the internationally popular trading card game, reveals that this method of resolving political issues has already been used on several other occasions, most notably (though unsuccessfully) by Colonel Gadaffi during the Arab Spring.
"It's a much cheaper way for countries to end arguments that, really, are impossible to resolve any other way.
He continued, "So far, the world leaders have used old, murderous methods of war alongside the Magic battles to cover up the truth, because they are embarrassed about playing it and don't want to look like massive nerds in front of everyone.
"But this match could change everything, even end traditional, bloody war altogether."
The duel will be covered on all major sporting channels, such as Sky Sports and ESPN.
It is also rumoured that the UN is working closely with Richard Garfield and production company Wizards of the Coast to create a new expansion pack suitable for an end-all Isreal vs Palestine match up.
Excited for the duel? Think all of politics should be dealt with like this? Share your thoughts below!
