At one time or another, almost every young woman has had the displeasure of receiving a d*ck pic that she never even wanted, let alone asked for. What's more is that we are never quite sure about how we want to respond when this happens to us. In the shock of the moment, you fumble for words and really wish you could have reacted better. Here are just eleven ways that you can reply to this dude's undesired dong shot:
1. Block him without another word
You're a busy young woman and you haven't got the time to waste on entertaining horny losers. He'll get the hint if he's smart enough.
2. "I've seen better"
Let him know that his worst fear is true: there are much bigger, longer, and overall prettier penises out there, and his can't even contend with what you've seen before.
3. Ask him why he sent it
If you want to rationalize with him, ask him why he thought it would be a good idea to send you a nude that you never explicitly asked for. Hear him out, if you're feeling so generous as to lend him an ear. Who knows, he might show you that he actually regrets his action and will think twice before ever doing it again.
4. Threaten to report him
Sending unsolicited nude photos is a blatant form of sexual harassment. Don't be afraid to threaten him with some kind of punishment from your school or university or even from local law enforcement.
5. "Is that it? Wow…not impressed"
Knock him off of his undeserved pedestal by kicking him right where it hurts—square in the ego.
6. Retaliate with a gruesome metaphor
Nothing quite beats the classic "banana slicer" photo, but you can dig deeper and find a chopped-up hot dog or cut-down tree stump that could suffice as well.
7. Threaten to stick your boyfriend on him
Whether he's real or made-up, tell this poser you've got your boyfriend in on the situation and he's furious and just itching to take out his anger in a serious beating. If the guy knows better, he'll back off and go quietly to avoid a broken face.
8. Tell his girlfriend (or, if you dare, his mother or father)
Search through his social media for a useful connection, preferably a girlfriend or his parents, and let them know that he's been acting out again and is harassing you with unsolicited photos. He'll definitely face quite a bit of backlash from either contact (but I think we can all agree his mother would be most effective).
9. Compare it to something small and pathetic
Reply with a photo of a hairless mole rat, a fleshy, pink snake, a fat and slimy worm…channel your creativity and you can really come up with the perfect comparison to his pathetic penis. You can even throw in an "aww, it's cute" if you really aim to damage his self-image.
10. "LOL"
There are few responses to what's meant to be a sexy photo that is more degrading and humiliating than "laughing out loud." You're telling him that his attempt at charming you is so pitiful and ineffective that it's just plain laughable (which it is).
11. Try to educate him on why what he did isn't okay
There are very few women (if any at all) that even slightly appreciate receiving a surprise schlong shot. Explain to him that you find his action to be disturbing, disgusting, and very unnerving, and tell him that you are definitely not the only woman to feel this way. If he's a decent guy, he may see the error in his ways and strive to be a better man from that point onward.
Guys, I promise you, your naked penis alone does nothing to entice women—all it does is repel them and rule out any chances of hooking up with them ever. If you want a woman to know you're attracted to her, just tell her with words. Don't risk sexual harassment charges and definitely don't risk traumatizing another innocent young woman.