It's in the moments before your head hits the pillow. It's the moments when your body has been given a chance to slow down, and your mind seizes the chance to speed up.
It's late, and you wonder.
You wonder about your actions.
You wonder why you're doing what you do.
You wonder why you're pursuing the dreams you're chasing.
You wonder why you're trying to reach these goals.
You wonder about you.
Why do you even act this way in the first place?
Why do you even have these dreams and goals?
You wonder about the future.
Will your life ever be what you want it to be?
Will you ever be like what you wish you were?
You wonder about life.
Where is meaning?
What about happiness?
You wonder what (actually) is worth it - what is worthy to have your energy, your determination, your focus poured into with as much of your heart as you can muster.
I wonder, too.
Actually, if I'm honest, I wonder a lot.
What is worth it who is worth it why is it worth it and should it all actually be this way anyway.
Where should I go next why do I go there next and maybe there actually is a better way anyway.
What I wonder is why wonder often won't end.
One wondering leads to one wondering leads to one wondering leads to a life of wondering.
Now I'm sitting here, cold legs against the leather chair as I wonder about wonder, itself.
And I wonder what kind of life this is that I'm living.
To those who are unsure -
To those who wonder about actions, you, the future, life -
I have a message for you.
Sometimes, your wondering (actually) can't give you the answers as you want.
You may want your musings to end in tight answers and safe little conclusions which you can neatly stack and sit on - guarding with your being instead of walking and doing.
The wondering often doesn't end up in peachy little answers because there's always variables, elements outside of your control. However, you see, maybe these "peachy little answers" we think we want (actually) come at an overlooked price. Maybe they aren't what would finally satisfy us.
Your wondering isn't a weakness.
You see, this wondering can keep you settling for the "peachy little answers" that would cause you to settle for a life that's just less; it'd be less than the one that you are (actually) capable of living.
What if we stopped believing that wondering is a weakness? Thoughts ignite ideas. Ideas ignite change. Change ignites other thoughts which ignite ideas and more change.
Wondering has a use.
What if you saw your ability to wonder about so much as a tool that can be used to bring change not only for yourself but for the betterment of other people?
What if you wondered about what your life could look like if you wondered more about what made other people happy (and then sought to give them just that?).
What if you wondered what your life would look like without fear?
But it's (ultimately) yours.
You can choose to use your wonder for whatever you will. No one can make any life choices for you.
I wonder what life would be like - what your life would be like - if more people chose to use wonder for good.