To The One Who Is Unsure

To The One Who Is Unsure

Because sometimes we wonder.

It's late.

It's in the moments before your head hits the pillow. It's the moments when your body has been given a chance to slow down, and your mind seizes the chance to speed up.

It's late, and you wonder.

You wonder about your actions.

You wonder why you're doing what you do.

You wonder why you're pursuing the dreams you're chasing.

You wonder why you're trying to reach these goals.

You wonder about you.

Why do you even act this way in the first place?

Why do you even have these dreams and goals?

You wonder about the future.

Will your life ever be what you want it to be?

Will you ever be like what you wish you were?

You wonder about life.

Where is meaning?

What about happiness?

You wonder what (actually) is worth it - what is worthy to have your energy, your determination, your focus poured into with as much of your heart as you can muster.

I wonder, too.
Actually, if I'm honest, I wonder a lot.

What is worth it who is worth it why is it worth it and should it all actually be this way anyway.

Where should I go next why do I go there next and maybe there actually is a better way anyway.

What I wonder is why wonder often won't end.

One wondering leads to one wondering leads to one wondering leads to a life of wondering.

Now I'm sitting here, cold legs against the leather chair as I wonder about wonder, itself.

And I wonder what kind of life this is that I'm living.

To those who are unsure -
To those who wonder about actions, you, the future, life -

I have a message for you.

Sometimes, your wondering (actually) can't give you the answers as you want.

You may want your musings to end in tight answers and safe little conclusions which you can neatly stack and sit on - guarding with your being instead of walking and doing.

The wondering often doesn't end up in peachy little answers because there's always variables, elements outside of your control. However, you see, maybe these "peachy little answers" we think we want (actually) come at an overlooked price. Maybe they aren't what would finally satisfy us.

Your wondering isn't a weakness.

You see, this wondering can keep you settling for the "peachy little answers" that would cause you to settle for a life that's just less; it'd be less than the one that you are (actually) capable of living.

What if we stopped believing that wondering is a weakness? Thoughts ignite ideas. Ideas ignite change. Change ignites other thoughts which ignite ideas and more change.

Wondering has a use.

What if you saw your ability to wonder about so much as a tool that can be used to bring change not only for yourself but for the betterment of other people?

What if you wondered about what your life could look like if you wondered more about what made other people happy (and then sought to give them just that?).

What if you wondered what your life would look like without fear?

But it's (ultimately) yours.

You can choose to use your wonder for whatever you will. No one can make any life choices for you.

I wonder what life would be like - what your life would be like - if more people chose to use wonder for good.

Cover Image Credit: Deborah Spooner Photography

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Thank You, Kevin Love, For Putting The Spotlight On Mental Health

No one deserves to go through their struggles alone.

Having a conversation about mental health is not always easy. Many times, mental health is overlooked and can be viewed as not being as serious as one’s physical health. The conversations surrounding mental health need to happen more often because of the detrimental effects that poor mental health can have on people’s lives.

Recently in the news, Kevin Love, a power forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team, has revealed his mental health struggle. For those who have not yet read his statement, Love mentions that he had a panic attack during a basketball game. Through the encouragement of hearing the words of another NBA player, DeMar DeRozan, discuss his mental health struggles, Love gained the courage the speak up.

Oftentimes, it seems like athletes and other celebrities are all put together. They seem perfect, like nothing is going wrong in their lives. However, no matter how much money someone makes or how much fame they have achieved, they still experience normal, everyday struggles. Mental illnesses don’t care about the amount of money being made or the status that a person has achieved in society.

Mental illnesses can affect everyone. The same mental illnesses that can affect a homeless person living on the streets can also affect an athlete that makes over $20 million per year. The discussion around mental health can create connections that people may never even believe were there before. No matter who a person is or what they’re doing in life, isolating themselves and staying silent about their internal struggles will only make the journey with a mental illness more difficult.

With this being said, I want to say thank you to Kevin Love for speaking out for all people that have struggled or are currently struggling with one or multiple mental illnesses. Seeing a beloved athlete share their struggle can inspire people of all backgrounds and walks of life to share their own struggles and get the help that they need and deserve. Kevin Love is someone who I would want my future children to look up to. Our society needs to work to eliminate the stigma of mental health. It’s serious, and it’s time that we treat it that way.

Thank you, Kevin Love. Through his story, hopefully, more people will have the courage to speak out. He is admirable and demonstrates that anyone can be affected by a mental illness. If you are reading this and you believe you need help, seek it out. There is nothing wrong with trying to better yourself for you and all of the people in your life.

No one, no matter their status, occupation, or background, deserves to feel lonely. We need to normalize discussions about mental health so that those who are struggling and suffering do not have to go through it alone.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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To The Ones Who Haven't Been Feeling Like Themselves Lately

Your spark will return, I promise.

I have not been feeling like myself lately.

After going through several rough weeks, I realized how much I let negativity flood my mind. I have been exhausted, over-thinking minuscule things, and constantly feeling like a dark, gray cloud is floating over my head. I stress myself out over the little things, like the ambiguity of the future or dwelling on the past. I tend to over-commit myself and take on much more than I think I can handle. In my eyes, if I don't think I'm doing something productive, I see it as a waste of time.

But still, I carry on and pretend I am okay with a very forced smile. I thoughtlessly go through the motions of everyday life like a zombie with my mind going in a million different places.

Sometimes, the worst place you can be is in your own head. It seems like this weird funk came out of nowhere and for no reason.

And it's hard to catch me not being me.

So, to the ones who have not been feeling like themselves lately, know this:

Life gets tough. Life gets to be too much to handle sometimes, but those times make you stronger. The way you’re feeling right now is not so much that you feel unhappy, rather, you just feel weird and lost.

Maybe you feel like this because you're like me and try to stay strong all the time. When you’re always the strong one, you usually suppress your desires, thoughts, and sometimes even how you feel. When you’re always the strong one, you are very cautious about giving your problems to anyone else. You see that as laying a burden on people.

I have come to the realization that it is okay to not be strong all the time. I used to tell myself to not let anyone in or let them know of my struggles. But, as the strong one, you go through your own challenges, and there can be times when you reach a breaking point.

The day you realize how much you have grown from this difficult point in time will be your reward. It might be hard to see it now, and I feel your pain, but our attitude towards life can change every day and far too often for us as humans to understand why.

However, once this phase is over, you will be okay. Your light will return to you. Your pure bliss moments, they are seeking you. I promise.

But for now: breathe, celebrate the small things in life, indulge in a long, hot shower, watch the stars, take a much-needed nap, recognize success and reward yourself, and finally, stand in front of the mirror and create positive, loving affirmations for yourself.

You are worth so much more than you may know. Your age doesn't define your maturity. Your GPA doesn't define your intellect or your future. Rumors don't define who you are. Don't let bitter, unhappy people drag you down to their level.

Rise above.

Your happiness will return. You will be a better, stronger version of you. In fact, you will be the best version of you yet.

Just keep going.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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