Knowing When To Let Go

Knowing When To Let Go

13 reasons why I knew I had to let them go.


While I'm pondering about my remaining days in Maryland, I often find myself reflecting about the past days. I thought a lot about the people in my life. As everyone is packing for college and saying their farewells, they are also cleansing- leaving behind clothes that they will never wear, memories that will never last, and people that will never be there for them in the end.

This summer, I learned the truth the hard way. The truth is anyone can hurt you, even those that you thought were your best friends in high school. This summer, I learned to let those people go.

Here are my 13 reasons why I let them go.

What Other People Saw

Usually, people on the outside can see it much more clearly than you will. You tend to be distracted by the temporary happiness and feelings which blurs your judgment. At some point, you're wondering why you're still talking to them and spending every day with them, even though every single one of your friends is telling you to stop interacting with them. I never saw why until I left.

Too Many Excuses

I was starting to make excuses for their actions, for all those times they hurt me. Maybe the first time, it was not intentional. The second time might have been a miscommunication. The third time might have been a misunderstanding. But you can only make so many excuses for someone.

The Respect I Had for Myself

Although it took awhile, I learned that I have more respect for myself than to keep letting them back into my life. People should not be taking advantage of your kindness and forgiveness. You deserve people that do not make the same mistakes of hurting you.

The Lack of Respect From Them

The way I saw it, they did not respect me enough to think about my feelings. If they really respected me and cared for me, they would have been more considerate. If they really respected me and cared of me, they would have learned after the first time they hurt me.

The Person I Became

There's a saying that when you're with people that truly make you happy, that you become your best self. That was not me with these people. With them, I grew to become a really petty, jealous, dishonest, and toxic person. That was not me, or at least who I wanted to be.

The Lies

Nothing was ever 100% honest and it became clear after hearing the stories from multiple people. It was never the same. Even when I thought I had gotten the truth, I was lied to because I would only discover more devastating news, leaving me hurt once again. They only told me what was convenient and what would ultimately make me forgive them.

No Balance

When I made a mistake, they were quick to block and leave my life. However, I was always the one to keep trying and save the friendships. When the tables are turned, when they make a mistake, they just assume that I will stick around and forgive them like it never happened.

The Sacrifices

The sacrifices I made were never worth it. For the sake of our mutual friends, I tried to push everything in the back of my mind and pretend that things were okay even though there was clearly an elephant in the room. I tried to forgive them and go along with our days like nothing had happened. I tried to make the friendship work. But at the end of the day, I wasn't fooling anyone and it only made me bottle up more reasons to be mad and hurt.

My Own Happiness

My happiness was plummeting. I was never happy around them. The mention of them immediately took a toll on my mood. There were so many fights and bad memories that I couldn't ever think of the good times we used to have. I never had anything good to say about them. I realized that it was just a vicious cycle to only get hurt again and again.

Their Lack of Effort

Their lack of effort was not worth my time anymore. It truly sucks always being the one to give and care more in the relationship. Whenever times became difficult, it just felt like I always went the extra mile to resolve our issues where they were just okay with the outcomes regardless.

Too Many Broken Promises

Don't get me wrong, I understand that not everything will go as planned and that life is unexpectable which makes promises hard to keep but that just simply cannot be the excuse every time. I should have known that it was not right when they would promise to make me happy but the only thing they could guarantee was pain.

Too Many Hurtful Words

Some were truly just harsh and painful, some were words of love and wishful thinking. But, for some reason, those words of "love" hurt so much more. Maybe it was because it got my hopes and expectations up- only for it to come crashing down later. If you really cared and loved for someone, you would not say things so unpleasant and harsh.


I deserve better.

No matter how long you've known someone, how much hardships you've endured with them, how many days you've spent in each others arms, how close you are to them, how many good times you've had, how many mutual friends you share, the list goes on- there is a line and you have to think about yourself. You do not need to put on a show and pretend things are okay for the sake of everyone else. You do not need to savor the friendship for the sake of old times. You do not need to interact with people that just could not give another damn about you. You do not need to go the extra mile for someone who does not respect you. You do not need to stay when they beg for your forgiveness and promise to change. You do not need to listen to their hurtful words when they think they're being honest and open with you. You do not deserve to be hurt.

Just because I let them go, it does not mean I hate them. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Experiences like these help us grow and can help shape us a person. After this summer, I know that I have become a stronger person. I learned many things that will make me more careful and aware in the future. People will always come and go. In the end, you can only cherish the good moments, wish them the best, and move on. I am happy for all the good times that never lasted but I realized that I need to leave them all back in Maryland and start fresh in the sunny lands of Georgia.

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I'm Proud To Be The Girl That Cares 'Too Much'

Hearing someone tell you that you care too much, instinctively makes you want to figure out how to not care as much... I am the girl who thinks about everyone


If you aren't one, you know one. That one girl who cares about everyone, even if they are toxic to her. That one girl who would give the shirt off her back to a stranger walking down the street. The girl who wouldn't think twice about loaning you money, even though you still owe her from the last time you asked. The girl who will stay up with you until 5 in the morning, talking about the guy who broke your heart. Even though she has work at 8 and you would shut off your phone if she tried calling you past 10 p.m.

I am that girl.

I am the girl that cares too much.

I am the girl that tries too hard to make other people happy. I am the girl that puts everyone else's problems above my own. I am the girl that cares too much about what other people think. I am the girl who cares too much about pleasing everyone around here. And there's something I want everyone to know...

I am the girl who cares too much and I'm happy that way.

While I have stopped caring so much of other people's opinions and pleasing everyone, I still care about others probably more than I need to. I've learned that I cannot make everyone happy and with that, my own personal happiness has grown. I have started to put myself above others, but I will never lessen the amount of love and attention I give to those around me.

I will never stop being there for anyone who needs me. I will never stop being the girl who cares too much.

I love being the girl that cares too much.

Because while many are out there, happy as can be that they get left alone, I love being the girl that people feel comfortable turning to. I love being the friend that others feel they can call if they are stuck or just need someone to talk to.

I've learned that I should never put someone else's happiness above my own. Meaning, I should never sacrifice what makes me happy, to please someone else. If someone is a vegetarian or vegan, that's great for them. But I won't stop eating meat just to make them happy. If someone doesn't like country music, that's fine. I'm not going to stop jamming to Cat Country on my way to work.

Caring too much isn't a bad thing. In a world where nobody seems to care, I'm glad that I do. I could never imagine having the "dgaf" attitude. It's just not in my nature.

So while you can sit there and say, "you care too much." I will happily smile back at you and say "someone needs to."

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Dear My Loving Body

A thank you and apology to the body I was given.


Dear my loving body,

I am sorry I didn't love you as I should of growing up, that I starved you and cut your skin. It seems like a lot of other women, I didn't know how strong you were being for me. Even when I made you sick all those years you still woke me up in the morning, legs carried me through my day even when I'd be so malnourished you nearly collapsed on a daily. Thank you for being the strength I needed even when I didn't have the mental strength to keep going but you did.

Melissa Garcia

My body. Oh god, she persevered after so many years of binging and purging and starvation, she brought me to where I am today. I am still struggling to love her, perhaps I always will. I try to think of how my large thighs can be a comfy seat for a child rather than be a nuisance when they jiggle or flatten out to what seems to be an entire continent. I am learning to love the stretch marks on my bum and legs because they signify how much I've healed from my eating disorder. They signify not only physical growth but mental and emotional growth too.

I spent so many years trying to make this body perfect but in the end, she always was. She always gave me strength and kept me going even when I didn't want to. This body gives me the ability to laugh and love in a way I couldn't when I was torturing her, she is free now and I couldn't think of a better way to thank her than to continue letting her be free from the burdens I placed on her all those years. I know that loving your body is incredibly difficult but seeking to remember all she does for you is important and really can change an outlook. I want to tell her to thank you for all you do for me every day.

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