Knowing When To Let Go

Knowing When To Let Go

13 reasons why I knew I had to let them go.

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While I'm pondering about my remaining days in Maryland, I often find myself reflecting about the past days. I thought a lot about the people in my life. As everyone is packing for college and saying their farewells, they are also cleansing- leaving behind clothes that they will never wear, memories that will never last, and people that will never be there for them in the end.

This summer, I learned the truth the hard way. The truth is anyone can hurt you, even those that you thought were your best friends in high school. This summer, I learned to let those people go.

Here are my 13 reasons why I let them go.

What Other People Saw

Usually, people on the outside can see it much more clearly than you will. You tend to be distracted by the temporary happiness and feelings which blurs your judgment. At some point, you're wondering why you're still talking to them and spending every day with them, even though every single one of your friends is telling you to stop interacting with them. I never saw why until I left.

Too Many Excuses

I was starting to make excuses for their actions, for all those times they hurt me. Maybe the first time, it was not intentional. The second time might have been a miscommunication. The third time might have been a misunderstanding. But you can only make so many excuses for someone.

The Respect I Had for Myself

Although it took awhile, I learned that I have more respect for myself than to keep letting them back into my life. People should not be taking advantage of your kindness and forgiveness. You deserve people that do not make the same mistakes of hurting you.

The Lack of Respect From Them

The way I saw it, they did not respect me enough to think about my feelings. If they really respected me and cared for me, they would have been more considerate. If they really respected me and cared of me, they would have learned after the first time they hurt me.

The Person I Became

There's a saying that when you're with people that truly make you happy, that you become your best self. That was not me with these people. With them, I grew to become a really petty, jealous, dishonest, and toxic person. That was not me, or at least who I wanted to be.

The Lies

Nothing was ever 100% honest and it became clear after hearing the stories from multiple people. It was never the same. Even when I thought I had gotten the truth, I was lied to because I would only discover more devastating news, leaving me hurt once again. They only told me what was convenient and what would ultimately make me forgive them.

No Balance

When I made a mistake, they were quick to block and leave my life. However, I was always the one to keep trying and save the friendships. When the tables are turned, when they make a mistake, they just assume that I will stick around and forgive them like it never happened.

The Sacrifices

The sacrifices I made were never worth it. For the sake of our mutual friends, I tried to push everything in the back of my mind and pretend that things were okay even though there was clearly an elephant in the room. I tried to forgive them and go along with our days like nothing had happened. I tried to make the friendship work. But at the end of the day, I wasn't fooling anyone and it only made me bottle up more reasons to be mad and hurt.

My Own Happiness

My happiness was plummeting. I was never happy around them. The mention of them immediately took a toll on my mood. There were so many fights and bad memories that I couldn't ever think of the good times we used to have. I never had anything good to say about them. I realized that it was just a vicious cycle to only get hurt again and again.

Their Lack of Effort

Their lack of effort was not worth my time anymore. It truly sucks always being the one to give and care more in the relationship. Whenever times became difficult, it just felt like I always went the extra mile to resolve our issues where they were just okay with the outcomes regardless.

Too Many Broken Promises

Don't get me wrong, I understand that not everything will go as planned and that life is unexpectable which makes promises hard to keep but that just simply cannot be the excuse every time. I should have known that it was not right when they would promise to make me happy but the only thing they could guarantee was pain.

Too Many Hurtful Words

Some were truly just harsh and painful, some were words of love and wishful thinking. But, for some reason, those words of "love" hurt so much more. Maybe it was because it got my hopes and expectations up- only for it to come crashing down later. If you really cared and loved for someone, you would not say things so unpleasant and harsh.

Me

I deserve better.


No matter how long you've known someone, how much hardships you've endured with them, how many days you've spent in each others arms, how close you are to them, how many good times you've had, how many mutual friends you share, the list goes on- there is a line and you have to think about yourself. You do not need to put on a show and pretend things are okay for the sake of everyone else. You do not need to savor the friendship for the sake of old times. You do not need to interact with people that just could not give another damn about you. You do not need to go the extra mile for someone who does not respect you. You do not need to stay when they beg for your forgiveness and promise to change. You do not need to listen to their hurtful words when they think they're being honest and open with you. You do not deserve to be hurt.

Just because I let them go, it does not mean I hate them. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Experiences like these help us grow and can help shape us a person. After this summer, I know that I have become a stronger person. I learned many things that will make me more careful and aware in the future. People will always come and go. In the end, you can only cherish the good moments, wish them the best, and move on. I am happy for all the good times that never lasted but I realized that I need to leave them all back in Maryland and start fresh in the sunny lands of Georgia.

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An Honest Review Of ItWorks! From Someone Who Doesn't Sell The Products

No, I'm not looking for you to "join a team" or begin any challenges.
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I'm sure you've seen your friends on Facebook transition from friend to salesman. Whether it be for Scentsy, LipSense, or AdvoCare; multi-level marketing companies are on the rise thanks to social media. ItWorks! remains one of the most prominent.

ItWorks! is a health and wellness company using primarily plant-based ingredients without any artificial sweeteners or coloring. Their "number one seller" is the famous body wraps but the company is mostly weight loss supplements and vitamins. The company has a passion for the natural over the synthetic. Co-founder Mark Pentecost states on the site's Our History page that "you want to know that you're putting the very best things in your body."

Since most reviews of these products come from distributors, who are therefore biased, I have reviewed three of their greatest products and one I believe you should avoid.

1. Greens™ Blend Chocolate

As a vegan, I sometimes have to double check that I'm receiving the proper nutrients. ItWorks! Greens have been saving my life lately. It contains 52 herbs and nutrient-rich superfoods as well as 34 fruits and veggies. It is meant to alkalize, balance, and detoxify.

This is my favorite product! It gives me energy and even fills in for breakfast sometimes. It honestly makes me feel great. Then again... they always said eating all your fruits and veggies would!

ItWorks! gives you those healthy servings in a delicious chocolate flavor (which is bomb with almond milk). Make sure you use a blender bottle or blender. Like many powdered supplements, it can have that grainy aftertaste.

2. Advanced Formula Fat Fighter™

The idea behind this supplement is that it’s "okay to indulge if you have your Fat Fighters." Basically, if you just must have that sweet treat or piece of bread then you can take this pill within an hour to prevent your body from absorbing the carbs and a portion of the fats. If you're anything like me, you eat what you want when you want, so you'll end up taking these pills on the daily.

The main reason I like the Fat Fighters is that they reduce cravings and I normally have such a sweet tooth!

3. ThermoFIGHT™

This product is meant to increase calorie burning, boost the rate of your metabolism, and boost your energy. Like with Greens, I definitely feel energized when I take this supplement. Not in a jittery or wired way, either.

They say "abs start in the kitchen" but I'll try and cheat the system when I can!

4. Ultimate Body Applicator™ and Defining Gel™

This is the ItWorks! claim to fame... and that ASTOUNDS me.

I used to be so skeptical of this company because of the wraps. I tried them three different times and was not impressed each time. The ultimate body applicator and defining gel are meant to tighten and tone the skin to redefine the appearance of your body’s contour. Sure, you'll receive those results... just at an outrageous price. It's an expensive product that requires a lot of re-purchasing in order to receive any drastic results. Not to mention the most drastic results are just reduction of water weight.

They're really just an overpriced skin firming lotion. I suggest finding a nice cream from Target and sitting in the sauna instead.

If your facebook-friend-turned-salesman pushes for you to buy the wraps, just remember that I warned you.

I would like to give an honorary mention to KetoCoffee (probably their second most popular item). Because it is not vegan, I have not given it a try. I have heard amazing things from multiple women, though. Most keto coffee recipes give people the shakes and amp them up too hard. I've heard that ItWorks! has perfected the recipe.

I have used the first three products for a little over three months now. Sometimes I am inconsistent and miss servings. However, I match these products with a vegan diet (mostly whole foods based) and 3-4 days of exercise. I do not have drastic results but I have lost a little over ten pounds and feel great each day. I plan to remain a customer with this company (I have Greens on Autoship!).

I feel so blessed to be a Loyal Customer with ItWorks! because I receive up to 40% off and free shipping after three months. Without this discount, I probably never would have given this company a second thought. I highly recommend going that route because, well...

Cover Image Credit: Savanah Garcia | Instagram

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A College Student's Guide To Self-Care 101

A trend on the rise, self-care is becoming more and more prevalent.

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My social media sites have been exploding with mentions of self-care. Tweets about the concept are ever on the rise and I think it is important to explore the concept. Self-care practices have become increasingly common because people are ever interested in tending to their emotional and physical wellbeing.

Unfortunately, with the popularization of the concept comes misconceptions. Self-care is not strictly about "treating yourself" and face masks. Additionally, it encompasses growth, reflection, and change. So, without further adieu, here are my top ten self-care tips!

1. Learn to be by yourself

This one is harder than people would think at first. Everyone's personality is different and, therefore, their affinity to being alone will differ as well. However, as I mentioned before, self-care is not only about physical practices. It is about eliminating toxicity from your life. This means eliminating bad habits, which is achieved through reflection and acknowledgment of the problematic habituation. Being by yourself allows you to set your own goals for yourself without any influence from outside factors. Additionally, the ability to be by yourself aids in establishing good self-esteem and ensures that the relationships you allow in your life are true and special rather than just to pass time.

2. Accept compliments

I don't know how this became normalized or why, but I despise the fact that girls have been taught to downplay their confidence. If someone offers a compliment, smile and accept it. Positive feelings towards yourself should be integral parts of your thought processes. Additionally, pay yourself compliments. They don't have to be said out loud but appreciate the beauty that is your body. It does so much for you, the least you could do is appreciate it every now and then.

3. Hold yourself accountable

Like I said earlier, part of self-care is eliminating bad habits. The tendency to attribute one's own failures and shortcomings to external forces is self-serving bias and those with good self-esteem are guilty of it. It may be difficult to balance attribution and self-esteem but in order to achieve growth, you have to acknowledge your own faults. This will allow for clarity and for you to work towards achieving better habits.

4. Don't bottle up your feelings

I am especially guilty of not following this tip. Keeping to yourself may seem like the easier thing to do and, if you are like anything like me, you may hate being seen as an inconvenience. However, I know that if I bottle up for too long, I tend to shut down and then I won't be able to achieve anything. Expressing your feelings is okay. Crying is okay. Anger is okay. Emotion is okay.

5. Try new things

Take a yoga class. Volunteer. Go to a new restaurant. Anything that pushes you out of your comfort zone incubates growth. You don't even have to enjoy everything you do, you just have to try. However, you may also find a new passion because of it.

6. Get some sleep

Don't spend all your time sleeping and lose all motivation to do anything, but make a conscious effort to get sufficient sleep so that all of your days can be as efficient as possible. You will be more energized and your immune system, as well as your physical appearance, will thank you.

7. Don't force yourself to do things you don't like

I know I said to try new things. However, if your best friend loves running and you go with her one day and find out you HATE it, don't force yourself. Find what works for you through trial and error. You will be much happier with your own flow and it keeps you from developing resentment.

8. Learn to say no

All the women in my life are especially guilty of this. We spread ourselves too thin because we can't say no. This goes hand in hand with not forcing yourself to do things that you don't want to do. Saying no doesn't make you a bitch, it makes you strong and lets people know that you know what you want.

9. Say what you mean

Don't sugarcoat things. It will leave you feeling unfulfilled and, quite frankly, it's exhausting trying to tiptoe around what you really mean. Don't be rude or aggressive, rather assertive and straight forward. It will make you a better communicator and will take pressure off of you as well.

10. Finally, treat yourself

I said self care wasn't entirely about that. I didn't say it wasn't necessary.

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