The following list is dedicated to Bryce Shockley, who asked me how many mime jokes I knew. I told him it wasn't something I could talk about.

1. Why are mimes terrible at brainstorming?

They can’t think outside the box.

2. Why did the mime go to prison?

For committing unspeakable crimes.

3.Why are mimes like children?

They are to be seen and not heard.

4. Mimes only have one button on their remotes.

Mute.

5. Mimes enjoy their work.

It’s very hands-on.

6. Why are mimes rich?

Silence is golden.

7. I had a friend who went to mime school.

He was never heard from again.

8. I have a certain effect on mimes.

I leave them speechless.

9. I played a mime once.

I forgot my lines.

10. I got into an argument with a mime a few years ago.

We’re still not on speaking terms.

11. What’s a mime’s favorite Doctor Who villain?

The Silence.

12. I once knew a doctor who was also a mime.

He always gave me the silent treatment.

13.How do you honor a mime’s death?

With a moment of silence.

14. I knew a mime who went into the witness protection program.

He’s not allowed to talk about it.

15. Mime support group.

Don’t suffer in silence.

16. Why do mimes like being arrested?

Because they have the right to remain silent.

17. You know what I've been told about my mime jokes?

They're not much to speak of.

18. Are you tired of mime jokes?

Fine, I'll say no more.