Allow me to be frank here.

You’re useless.

There is nothing you do that other cannot do far more easily. In fact, the others are better known for doing the only things you’re useful for. You're so painfully replaceable, it's a wonder anyone ever comes to you for anything. So I need to ask. What are you good for?

I could just be talking to some friends, and along you come to tie up my tongue and ruin my speech. And you’re just so inconsistent! You go one way at the beginning, and then in the middle, you just sound completely different. It’s as though you’re around only to cause trouble. You've hurt me and my social life and my good name in more ways than I can count. Because you've hurt me a lot of times. Not because I can't count very high.

But that's beside the point.

You won't leave me alone. You've wasted my time. You've wasted the world's time. We don't need you, we never did. You're just a symbol of negativity, a symbol of subversion, a symbol of contradiction, and I don't need you in my life. Over the course of my 18 and a half years of knowing you, I can't believe I ever recognized you as a valid partner in anything I have ever said or done.

So now I finally have the courage to say, I’ve had enough of you and your shenanigans.

So, my dear X, I’ve replaced you. There’s no sound you stand for that other letters don’t do better. A well-placed Z or a combination of K and S perfectly replace your erratic phonetics. Modern English and most Romantic and Germanic languages are completely fine without you.

Thing is, there are sounds that are far more complex that should have a letter of the alphabet dedicated to them. Sounds like "th" and "sh" have two letters harshing their mellow. Other languages have singular letters dedicated to these sounds. But English doesn't. We have you, though, my dearly beloathed X. If you deserve to be a letter, then so do "th" and "sh."

I pray I'm not the only one who is dumping you. In fact, I pray I inspire everyone else to follow suit. I move that all of us ditch our collective X. It is simply holding us back from linguistic perfection. Our alphabet is a sacred thing, the pinnacle of our sense of self-discovery as a species. Everything humanity has worked toward is embodied in our sense of which markings stand for which sounds. It should be devoid of such an insufferable, worthless cur such as the letter X. You're worse than that girl I used to date.

And don’t even get me started on Q.