Like most of the general population, I have always had a great love for music. It doesn’t matter what language it’s in, it will always expresses how I am feeling better than plain words ever will. But while I may appreciate it, I don’t think I really ever understood just how much power music possesses.
That is, until this past weekend.
It was a chilly Saturday night. Some new friends I had made from UPTV (Pitt's college TV station) had invited me to watch their band, Urban Heat Island, practice. As per usual, I almost declined. I am a fairly anxious person, and while it may not seem evident, those anxiety levels seem to increase twice fold when I have to go to social gatherings. But for whatever reason, I decided to take a chance.
Maybe it was because this specific group of people was extremely welcoming and such a delightful bunch. Maybe it was because I was curious about the musical talents they all possessed.
Or maybe it was because I was sick of letting my irrational insecurities deprive me.
When I arrived at the dark lit basement in the middle of south O, I felt the familiar jitters take hold. It took most of my energy to just concentrate on regulating my breathing. What was I doing here? I should have stuck with my original plan of curling up in my robe under my makeshift blanket-fort; hidden from humanity and safe from embarrassing myself in public.
But then before I worked up the nerve to back out and run away, they began to play.
Just like that, all those nagging voices in the back of my head went completely silent.
How could I give them any attention when I was too busy being left in awe by the group in front of me?
Never before had I imagined that music could take me to such heights. It was like a natural high, I could feel myself transcend to another level. Instead of fighting it, I closed my eyes and let the sound surround me, enveloping my body in a beautiful blend of drums, bass, and guitar riffs. One by one, I felt my inhibitions fall away until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I began to do the unthinkable; I danced.
I let the beat of the drums and the musical notes take over, and to my greatest surprise, the others around me joined in.
None of us cared about how ridiculous we looked. It was as if our bodies were saying all the things our mouths couldn’t. I have always been extremely self-conscious of my dancing; but for once I honestly couldn’t care less. I could feel the love and acceptance radiate off of everyone around me. And I swore in those moments, with hair flying, the music vibrating through our bones, dark silhouettes against the throbbing lights, we were eternal.
As someone who has spent so much of her life divulged in darkness, who felt like sadness was her greatest companion, I found something I thought was lost forever; Pure inexplicable happiness.
