My parents did not try to be original with my name and hoped that this in turn will make me a cooler person. I mean I still am, but that was not the original intention. No, they just didn't plan on moving across the world where my name was all of a sudden unpronounceable by the native folk. After 13 years of dealing with puzzled looks when introducing myself, I think I can call myself an expert on the 12 things you experience when you have a unique name.
1. Hearing that sudden anxious pause during roll call on the first day of school and knowing it's you.
Just shout out "here" and let us move on.
2. Getting asked how “your people” would pronounce it.
You’re not going to be able to, so why bother? But, you still let them try until they give up and never bring it up again.
3. Seeing a substitute teacher and dreading going through it all, all over again.
Let's hear this new variation of five letters.
4. Never ever finding your name on cheap trinkets at souvenir shops.
Screw you, coke.
5. Getting endless questions about where you’re from.
I tell people L.A. but technically I'm from the Valley.
6. Microsoft Word thinks your name is misspelled.
*Clicks to dictionary.
7. Autocorrect is even worse.
No, I did not mean, "today Drunk is coming to the pre-game."
OK, maybe Autocorrect knows what's up.
8. Not knowing if they just mispronounced your name at Starbucks or if it is someone else’s drink.
Starbucks is just bad with names, so I feel no personal discrimination here.
9. You have to write out your name phonically at the bottom on a name tag.
Nermine.
(Neer-mean)
10. People who have never met you in person very clearly using non-gender specific pronouns when they email you.
At least they are trying to not be offensive. You tried, people. You tried.
11. Making reservations under your friend’s name to spare the hostess.
Zh-umm... Amanda!
12. The first time you have a teacher with a similar ethnic background, and they read it right on the first try.
And then messes up everyone else’s name. Take that Rayshell, I mean Rachel, feel my pain!
It is a struggle, but at lease you're always memorable. Even if they cannot remember your actual name.
