So often we single girls are sitting here waiting (impatiently) for the right guy to (finally) make it into our lives. And I am no exception. When I see my friends posting about their "bae"s and filling my feed with romance, or when they ask me to hang out and it's me and all the couples, it's easy to feel a little down. To feel a little disheartened. To feel a little left out. I sit and wonder what I'm doing wrong or (hopefully you Christian girls feel me on this) what sin I haven't gotten rid of to allow me to be worthy of a boyfriend in God's eyes. But here's the deal: it's not a sin issue. It's not a "you're doing something wrong" issue. It's a perspective issue.
Paul writes this amazing section on singleness in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. He writes “...the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:34). It's a fact of life: when you're in a relationship, the majority of your time is spent IN the relationship. We single ladies have been given this amazing opportunity to live without division in our hearts. We have extra time and brain space to devote solely to serving God! So why, if we have been blessed with the ability to serve God in ways that our committed friends can't, are we sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to complete us?
Girls, Prince Charming is very attractive, but listen to me: the King above all kings loves you more deeply, more intimately, and more passionately than Prince Charming ever will. Prince Charming didn't know you before you were conceived. Prince Charming didn't walk with you through every moment of your life. Prince Charming didn't willingly let himself die the most brutal death mankind has ever seen. And you know what? Prince Charming didn't and never can be the one to save your soul. Only the King of Kings has done all of these things. He's the ultimate bae, and the only one who can truly complete us.
Now of course this isn't an anti-relationship rant. Paul also writes that “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9). Ladies that verse is talking to me. Because as awkward as it may sound to some, I am really looking forward to the day when my husband and I consecrate our marriage. It is a desire in my heart, and I believe God will one day fulfill it. And if that's you, then seek God in that desire. Yes, with all the stigmas around the "s-word" it may feel uncomfortable to say "God I want to have sex one day," but God will not freak out. He ORDAINED that. He created that desire to enjoy our husbands through sexual intimacy. He already knows your angsty hormonal feminine urges. It's okay.
But listen: you MUST seek God first. In love, in sex, in ALL things. Pray daily for self control. Run daily to your first love and hold fast to Him. Let him and him alone hold your hand until the day you say I do. Then continue to hold his hand as he leads both you and your husband into eternity. He. Is. Central. Seek him in the singleness. Seek him in the relationship. Seek him in all things. Christ is your first and greatest love. He lived for you, died for you, suffered, bled, and even cried over you. He did everything that needed to be done to hold you in his arms. Don't settle for Prince Charming when the King of Kings wants to sweep you off your feet.
Paul ends the chapter like this: “Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is.” (1 Corinthians 7:40 a). To my single sisters: Rock this one woman lifestyle. You are a strong, independent young woman. To quote the thing, "you don't need no man!" Don't go out and pursue your prince because if God has that in his plan then someday your prince will come. For now rejoice in the fact that your heart is undivided. You can spend every day in the service of your first love. You will be so much happier if you are content with your situation, be it permanent or temporary. You won't have to suffer the heartache of running around looking for boys who can shave because they're easy to pick up. You're single! You're living in the ultimate opportunity for loving God. Enjoy the party he's given you. And eventually, if it is a desire in your heart that coincides with the will of the one who loves you more than anyone else possibly could, your Prince Charming will come. A man of God who will race you to the finish line, constantly pushing you towards the first love of you both: Jesus. So be happy. Be content. Don't lose heart and don't lose hope. I KNOW it's hard; I've been doing it my whole lif. But I promise, the wait will be worth it whether it results in our prince meeting us on the racetrack as we pursue the Father, or whether our Father is our one and only forever.
