I am thinking back to the exact moments when I realized you weren’t good for me. I wasted countless hours debating on whether you keep you in my life or not; all the amazing memories with you flood by brain and made it that much harder to say goodbye. Today, it seems like you are around every corner and somehow I still cannot get over you. You made me unhealthy, you made me feel ugly and most of all you made me resent and question myself. So why do I still think about you? If you are reading this, you know exactly who I am talking about. Junk food, we are so over. It is time for me to move on.
My relationship with food has always been a toxic one, but today I am in a place where I can finally see why feeding my body crap was affecting my life so much. Breaking up with my bad diet was very similar to breaking up with a bad boyfriend:
I was always feeling guilty.
Similar to any relationship, if your partner is constantly making you feel guilty that is not a good sign. I would sink my teeth into some sugary dessert and later on feel completely guilty for even doing it. I felt good at the time, but later on I was second guessing my will power. I knew what I was eating was making me unhealthy and eating it anyway made my brain feel unhealthy as well.
Sneaking around
The many times that I swore to myself I would stop my unhealthy habits I wanted to believe I could be strong, but I would slip. Sneaking around in any relationship is unhealthy and I believed that if no one saw me enjoying unhealthy food then its like I wasn’t eating it at all.
The abuse was unbearable.
Many people understand abuse as something that can be seen, like bumps and bruises. But the abuse junk food inflicted upon me was internal. Unhealthy foods terrorize our insides and create chaos within our bodies. Junk food makes you feel lazy, slow and does not equip you with the tools to build a healthy body and that kind of abuse had got to go.
I did not feel confident
Being in a relationship should make you feel beautiful and powerful, but junk food was not providing me with either of those things. Why should I stay with someone or something that did not make me feel like the best version of myself?
I had to liberate myself
When I finally stepped up and took control of my diet, I felt liberated. I knew I was ridding myself of something that was only dragging me down. Junk food, I look so good without you.
Today I am so happy to say I have never felt healthier but like in any relationship, I still struggle. Junk food is a part of life and of course every now and then indulging in our favorite snacks is actually good for us. Cutting bad habits out of our lives is like breaking up with a boyfriend, NOT easy. You still want them, you miss them, but ultimately they are not doing anything positive for you.
