I thought I'd be in school working towards my career or I'd be established in it, but I'm not. I thought I'd have my own apartment or home, but I don't. I thought I'd be in a serious relationship, engaged, or married, but I'm not. By the time I turned 25, I thought I'd have it all together. I don't. I don't have it, but I'm learning to be ok with that!
I used to become discouraged that I wasn't where I wanted to be in life. I envisioned myself riding to and from my amazing job in my shiny black Range Rover. I saw myself pulling up to a beautiful 5 bed, 3 bath home somewhere in quiet suburbia. I had a bubbly baby on my hip and a husband that was the bomb.com and everythingandmore.org. Bye Felicia! Yea right! Life didn't exactly go that way! Instead here I am, a month past my 25th, and nowhere near those things! I'm just truly figuring out what I want to do career wise. I live at home, and I'm as single as single can be! That is a-okay though!
I spent all of two years comparing myself to peers who walked off the stage and straight into their career. I was overcome with a bittersweet feeling every time I saw an engagement or pregnancy announcement. I wondered why things didn't fall into place like I had always thought they would. Even now, I still have to remind myself that I don't have to have it all right now, and to ultimately trust God's plan for my life. Now, I'm focused on enjoying my 25th year of life, instead of complaining and being down about what I have yet to accomplish.
It's not always easy to find contentment in your current situation, especially when it seems like everyone around you has it all going on. After two years, I had had enough of the pity party I was constantly finding myself in. I decided that I was going to change my attitude and learn to be content in where I was in life. If you are struggling with discontentment, here's some tips that helped me accept and change my outlook on where am I versus where I want to be.
1. Let Go of The Situations You Can't Control.
If you can't control it, why are you stressing over it? I have to remind myself of this when I become discouraged about being single. Of course, I could force some relationship with someone I know I have no business being with, but realistically, I know that's not the way to go about my season of singleness. I can't make a man be with me, let alone propose. I'm also not going to lower my standards or settle for something I don't truly want to appease my desire to be in a relationship. Instead, I'm going to be content in this season and believe God has someone for me and when the time is right, I will met the person I'm meant to be with. Until then, I choose to focus on the things I can control and the areas of my life that are most important at this moment, like my education and career. So just remember what ever the situation is, if you can't control it, there's no point in stressing over it. If it's something that's attainable, the best thing is to remain patient until it's your time. If it's meant for you, believe it will be yours, so just hang on!
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
We've all done it. You're scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and you see Megan just got in engaged, April's having a baby, Cam just finished his Masters, and you? You're sitting on your bed sulking and asking why life hasn't fallen in place for you yet. I'm so guilty of this, but I've learned it's one of the worse things you can do. Social media plays a big part in this. What we must remember though is the part of others lives we see is just that, a part. As picture perfect as it may look a lot of the time it isn't, and even if it is that's their journey not yours. Everyone has a different path in life. We could all accomplish the same thing and we'd still each have a different story as to how we accomplished it. Nothing's wrong with that! Focus less on what everyone else is doing, and give yourself the props you deserve for where you are currently!
Trusting God for your blessing is the most important thing you can do. Proverbs 3:5 NIV is my favorite verse to go to when I need a reminder to trust in the Lord. It reads, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Can I get an amen!? That verse is literally telling you to throw everything you think you know about the situation away and just trust in Him! Us humans are great at creating plans and timelines for our life, which is not a completely bad thing. It's important to set goals. God is ultimately in control, however, so don't be surprised when He switches things up on you!
All in all, what's meant for you will be. Stop stressing, or criticizing yourself because you haven't reached a certain place in your life yet. Have patience, continue to work towards it, and remember God's timing is always perfect, so have faith and trust the plan God has for your life!