This article may or may not be what you think, but I have one thing to say before you choose to keep scrolling past this or keep reading through. For all of you athletes out there who have experienced a season ending or career ending injury, I cannot imagine the debilitating pain and sadness you felt, I only know what it’s like to be dating someone who did.

I was an athlete all my life. I grew up playing soccer and basketball, and I even dabbled in tennis for a few years. I knew the risks for injury, as there is in any sport, but I was blessed to only come out with two broken thumbs and one concussion after about 14 years of athletics. I did not pursue them at the collegiate level, but that could be a whole other article. This one here, this isn't about me. This is about her.

Imagine a senior in college with only five weeks left until she walks the stage. This also means it's her last season with her softball team, for whom she is a captain. The day of injury was April 1st, the first day of conference play. The excitement for such a promising season could be felt in the air. Of course, I sent the ceremonial good luck, hit me a dinger, and "I love you" text (as I was out of town for the day). As I am feverishly checking live stats, I noticed she wasn't in the field at the top of the third inning. A roommate/fan/former teammate said it happened in the top of the second inning. She went for a ball and turned to make the throw to first...but her leg didn't go with her. All I kept hearing and thinking was shit it's an athlete's nightmare: the dreaded ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) injury. April Fools right? I wish. Pop. Fall. Tears. Pain. Pain now at the forefront of her future and recovery. Pain that will only define her if she lets it. Pain all the time, everywhere. Pain when trying to complete daily tasks that were seen as no-brainers, such as simply trying to tie her shoe or walking up stairs. Her fairy tale senior year, over. I remember the hurt my heart felt knowing my girlfriend, a leader, and competitor, just lost one of the greatest parts of her life because of a life-altering injury. That knot in my stomach was truly indescribable, but all I know is it brought me to tears.

Everyone jokes about "FOMO" (fear of missing out for you old heads), but it all becomes real when all you CAN do is rest, ice, elevate, medicine: repeat. Life totally changes. It isn’t as easy to meet up with your friends on a whim, or to get to class on time. As for athletics, there are no more group hugs waiting for you at home plate after a walk-off homerun, or that feeling you get when you make a diving catch. The simple task of walking becomes not so simple when you have the constant and obnoxious pain resulting from your crutches rubbing against your body (how has there not been an alternative invention yet people?!), nothing. It all changes. The day she tore her ACL was the day I knew she was going to go through the hardest and most critical time in her life for her to grow as a young woman. She is no longer defined as an athlete, but as a young woman on the cusp of starting the next and hardest chapter yet. She has the potential to break through those prior molds and recreate herself in any which way she wants; she just does not know it yet.

I spent the day after the injury with her, and guess what we did? Absolutely nothing. That was entirely okay with me and it will be. To date someone who just experienced a career ending injury isn't easy. It takes an absurd amount of patience, endless support, and constant, almost to the point of obnoxious, encouragement. You have to be the voice of positivity when she does not have it in her. You have to give the fight back to her. You have to push her until she is able to push herself, as you support her every step of the way. It requires the reassurance that the pain you feel today sure as hell will be worse tomorrow, but you will rise again, you will walk again. It's about making her feel normal, all though her face is screaming that she feels as though she is not. It's about helping her move around, wrap her leg, massage her feet, change her ice, tie her shoe, or whatever she needs in order to have the confidence in herself that this isn't the end of the world; it's just the end of a chapter. It's about letting her cry and cope with the loss of her ability to play her sport so suddenly, but then respond with love and humor, cracking a corny joke to wipe away those tears. It's about being there. It's about knowing everything from this point on is going to really suck, and be harder than it once was, but it will be easier being with the person you love. Because after all of the treatment, therapy and the recovery, life will be valued on such a different level that will make our relationship and us that much stronger.

This is how you cope when the person you love is suffering a significant loss. Although an ACL injury is the kryptonite to an athlete as it is to Superman, a loss is still a loss. Loss does not discriminate. Loss can come in the form of athletics, education, life, finances, anything. Loss can come at the most surprising times and in the most heartbreaking ways. That does not mean it’s the end, it just means it’s time to start again, start new. This is for anyone supporting someone coping with a loss. You are there to double their joy, and divide their grief. The sacrifices you make today will pay off in every tomorrow.

The day she tore her ACL, was the day life without softball started. The day that the acceptance of the end was actually a blessing of a new beginning in disguise. The day she tore her ACL, was the day I put all my selfish wants and desires aside. The day she tore her ACL, I decided to be there for her. The day the person you love loses a part of their life, you do too.