Residential Advisors (RAs)...they're only out to get us, make our lives harder, and they think they can buy back our trust with the free food at their programs.

False.

Believe it or not, RAs are not always looking to write someone up, they are not faking their friendliness towards you, and they are not trying to ruin the fun by enforcing rules, they are simply doing their job: keeping everyone as safe as possible.

I know, you've heard it a million times from every RA or residential life staff member, and you would really like to believe that RAs aren't the bad guys, but deep down, you refuse to let that stereotype go. But, as someone who is not an RA, let me just tell you that it is true, RAs are not the bad guys. Perhaps I'm a little biased, considering I am friends with several RAs and also applied to be one (and got placed on the Alternate List), but try and hear me out.

There is a reason why the RA on duty will knock on your door and give you a warning first before writing you up for a noise violation. There is a reason why RAs will ask if you're okay when they see you stumbling around on a Friday night. And yes, there is also a reason why an RA will ask you to stop playing soccer in the hallway. It's because someone was way too loud and was being inconsiderate to someone next door or down the hall that was really sick and trying to get some sleep. It's because someone's friend didn't make sure that they were okay before sending them back to their room after a night of drinking. It's because someone kicked a ball too high and too hard, causing it to hit the sprinkler on the ceiling and thus destroying everything in the hallway and rooms (guess who's responsible for all of that damage plus the sprinkler replacement? YOU!).

RAs are actually here to keep everyone safe and look out for their residents. They do genuinely care about your well being. Yes, of course it sucks when you get written up and have to go through the judicial process, but also, that's your lesson learned for violating a policy that is outlined for everyone in the student handbook. Yes, RAs know that underage residents are going to drink, but that does not mean they are going to go out of their way to get someone in trouble for it. Unless there is a genuine concern for that resident's well being, or they know that there is someone of age serving to someone underage (social hosting), they are not going to hunt you down and ruin your night. There is also no reason to act surprised when you're written up because your room or suite was so loud it could be heard down the hallway when it's quiet hours, you're over occupancy, over the alcohol limit, and serving alcohol to minors. You know you're violating policy, you should know what could happen if you get caught. Knowing this, at least be smart about it.

Which leads me to my next thing: if you get written up, please don't be rude and aggressive towards the RAs that are responding to the incident. They don't want to be doing a write up and staying up until three or four in the morning composing the details of an incident report. That's not fun. They have lives too, the last thing they want to be doing is writing that IR instead of sleeping. So, the least you could do is be compliant. Be honest, don't hide anything, don't fight them. The more compliant you are, the better off you are in the long run because guess what also goes in the IR? The way you acted during the write up. If you were rude and were cursing at the RAs while they were trying to compose the write up, they will include all of that and it will not help you in the judicial process!

When it comes to door tags and bulletin boards, please don't vandalize them. It doesn't matter if you hate it or it doesn't apply to you - don't touch it! If the board is interactive, don't write something offensive on it and ruin it for everyone else. If you're drunk, don't start ripping parts of the board apart because you think it's funny. Don't steal people's door tags either. Some of us really like our door tags and would like to keep them on our doors, where they belong! RAs put a lot of time and effort into putting boards and door tags together. They do their best to make them fun, creative, and relevant, so they would greatly appreciate it if you took the time to at least acknowledge the effort that goes into them...and also, don't tear them down!!!

They also don't plan programs for their health. Nothing is more disappointing than putting hours into planning a fun program and having no one show up. Programs are not just to educate residents on current issues, but it's also to have fun and actually spend some time getting to know the residents that take the time to attend the programs. RAs know that free anything (especially food) will get residents to flock to their program, and we love them for that, but it doesn't hurt to stop and actually participate every once in a while. Programs are actually pretty fun, and you never know...you might find out that you have a lot more in common with your RA than you thought. Simply showing up for a few minutes will make their night.

Lastly, it is completely and entirely possible to be friends with your RAs. In fact, a fair amount of my friends are RAs, whether we were friends before they were hired or after. RAs are regular students too; they have tough classes, crazy schedules, and they also have personalities. They are not terrible people. RAs don't get their positions by being rude and inconsiderate to others. RAs are some of the most caring and wonderful people you will find on your campus, and they make for some of the greatest friends. Whenever I have an issue, whether it be something personal or academic, I always find myself approaching one of my RA friends because, not only are they a friend, but they have gone through extensive training to help tackle just about every possible conflict or dilemma that someone could have; they give the best advice and they're the best listeners. But, when you're friends with an RA, you do have to understand that they still have to do their job. Don't put them in an uncomfortable situation that is destined for a write up, and if they ever do have to write you up, please understand that they are just doing their job. They will still be your friend at the end of the night, they will still care about you, and they will not hold it against you - they are just looking out for you. They don't enjoy writing up their friends, but if the situation is unsafe, they have to do their job. Safety comes first. Please don't get mad at your RA friend for a write up. It's really not a big deal.

So the next time your RA puts a board up, posts your new door tag, hosts a program, or is just on duty, acknowledge them and the effort they put into making your building fun, welcoming, and safe. Don't be afraid to approach them about a problem. Talk to them, get to know them. Most of all, respect them. They are not out to get you.