I've always considered myself to be a fairly open-minded person. I talk to friends, peers, and family about a range of issues and dilemmas that go on in this world, and for the most part, I try to keep an open heart and an open mind, while also maintaining the ability to discuss topics constructively. In the midst of the recent U.S. election, the active debates regarding equal rights, and a variety of other concerns around the nation, differences between people are becoming more and more apparent, and the tensions have taken a drastic turn for the worst. Don't get me wrong: it can be really, really hard to listen to someone with differing or opposing opinions — especially with so much tension in the air. I am by no means saying that one must sit through and listen to a bombardment of opinions that may be considerably offensive or demeaning — to say the least. But I am here to say that listening and actively engaging in constructive debates and discussions can be worthwhile, helping start the desperately needed conversations about human rights and so much more.
Recently, I’ve had conversations with a handful of people who have very different perspectives from my own. While there are many issues in this world that I would happily debate over for hours on end, I prefer to have more meaningful and productive conversations. These sorts of discussions are only constructive when both parties understand that everyone is different and humans are renown for their wide ranges of opinion. While beliefs may differ, that doesn’t mean we need to treat one another inhumanely — it’s important to maintain a positive and open attitude, even when people are discussing concerns that you may not agree with. It’s extremely hard to have this positive and open attitude, especially when these topics hit close to home. But from my experience, sometimes my strongest relationships with others stem from a mutual point of understanding.
I have a friend who recently found out she was pregnant, and as someone who hadn’t really planned on having children, this came as a surprise to her and many of her peers around her. Thus far, it seems that one of the hardest parts of this pregnancy has been the lack of support from people she considered her friends and also the numerous comments on her views on abortion.
Abortion is one of those topics that will silence a room within seconds, as many people know it to be one of the most controversial issues of the past few decades, especially right now in light of the recent election. As people poked and prodded her with questions about why abortion was not a viable option for her, I continued to reach out, offering as much support as a college student can offer and also discussing the struggles of being a young, pregnant woman in the world today. As someone who labels herself pro-choice over this matter, I worried that our differing opinions would cause strains in our friendship. At the same time, I also like to listen to others and hear them out. I’m not one to judge and I’m not one to deride based on such opinions. I wanted to be there for my friend and listen to what she had to say
We discussed back and forth about how these comments had affected her — people insisting that abortion was the right choice, or that they had expected her pro-life position to alter when she found out she was pregnant. Rather than arguing whose opinion was more “correct,” we had a positive and productive discussion about the effects these comments had on her, as a pregnant woman, who was not about to change her views on abortion just because of her situation.
From this, I learned that working together, and focusing on creating an open and positive space to discuss, even with severely differing opinions, conversations about what’s really important in this world can be had and one can gain a new understanding of another perspective.
Learning to listen was instilled in me at a young age and has helped me grow and learn a lot over the years. While many of the debates being held between bickering parties are heated, and proponents of different beliefs are not always on their best behaviors, I think it is by far more important for us each to take a step back and come back to these conversations, not with the intent to necessarily change someone’s differing opinion, but to start a discussion about what really matters. There’s a lot going on in the world right now, there’s a lot of tension and a lot of hate. What we need most, along with change, is more people who are willing to listen to others — to listen to those who are being oppressed, to listen to those who are in need of support, to those whose voices are being shut down. We need to listen to those whose opinions differ from ours and respond constructively. Don’t fight fire with fire — be the voice that spreads like a gentle wind; calm, yet intent and purposeful.
