I am an incredibly sensitive person. I watch the news and question humanity, I see roadkill and cry. I haven’t eaten meat for years, and when I hear someone ordering bacon or wearing fur, my world gets flipped on its side. Our country’s current political state makes me feel like I’m constantly having an existential crisis. It has been easy to avoid recognizing that people, real people who I might even respect in different contexts can be celebrating the current change in power.
So, when I went on a family cruise and discovered that my father’s mother in law, a midwest raised, Catholic, pro-life, pro-Trump, Republican carnivore was going to be my roommate, you can imagine my expression. I thought I might pass out, implode and explode all at the same time. Needless to say I’ve been drinking more than usual, and trying to be positive in order to keep the vacation friendly.
Due to this recent political nonsense most people have been dealing with a similar situation that I have been faced with on this cruise. A large part of the population seems to have changed, as if becoming “optimistic” is an excuse for blindsiding the reality of this election. Regardless of what political party you associate with, you’re going to come into contact with someone who feels differently than you do. This guide applies to more than political beliefs, and might be useful in coping with opposing sentiments in several different contexts. Here is just a list of a few phrases that I have been using lately to keep myself in check, and preventing every meal from becoming a heated debate:
1. They might not know exactly what they're saying, the media might be at fault. Instead of simply saying that their facts are incorrect, try providing a variety of sources for them to try out. For instance, my friend recently told me that at his job, an employee who doesn’t wear deodorant is stinking up the office. Instead of causing a scene or making said person feel bad, their boss simply placed a deodorant stick on his desk. Give whoever you consider misinformed some deodorant. Metaphorically, I mean.
2. You probably look as crazy to them as they do to you. I was describing a belief at one point only to look up and see that my grandmother-in-law was staring at me in sheer shock, as though I was arguing that the ocean was made of gatorade. Needless to say, I realized in that moment that perception is so subjective it’s almost funny. She was just as perturbed by me as I was by her.
3. Everyone is a product of their environment. This one is very important. Let someone explain their point of view, because you might become rather enlightened as to why they have it. People are often reasonable, and when you understand their history, their feelings tend to make more sense. Keep in mind that the world would be a different kind of alarming if everyone had the same views, regardless of how difficult it may be to cope with the opposing ones.
4. Change is possible, and communication is key. Give talking a shot. You never know what you might relate to someone about, and it might be a good opportunity to enlighten them. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and do not be guilty, nor aggressive in how you communicate. Simply defend your truth, your opinions, and try starting phrases with “I feel” instead of “I think,” it helps people open up psychologically.
5. Keep your chin up. Remember that you, by simply sharing your perspective, have affected another human being. It isn’t an easy thing to do by any means, and it takes more effort and passion that we allow ourselves to recognize. Despite how powerless we all might feel at times, it is empowering to realize that as long as we are standing up for communication, compassion, and support, we are all doing our part.
