I am 19-years-old. My parents divorced when I was four. That means they've been divorced for 16 years and over half of my life. I would never call myself an expert, but I do have experience being a child of divorce.
First, we're not broken. Yes, it's hard, no matter what situation your family's in, when your parents decide to split, but that doesn't mean we all automatically become damaged. If anything we become stronger and a tad more realistic.
We realize that everything's not forever, even love. We know in order to find that forever love you need to keep a sharp eye out. We believe in love and fairytales, but you're going to have to sell the story extra hard to make us believe it will last.
Second, we're not spoiled. I don't know where this stigma came from, but it's the furthest stereotype from the truth. Many children with divorced parents are in financial trouble because of how much money their parents had to spend to get divorced and then many are raised by only one parent at that point. Some families have multiple kids and if child support or an agreement is not put in place then it will be hard to support the entire family.
We work hard because we know you can't rely on another person to financially support you. We want the best for ourselves and to never be in a position where we lose everything because a relationship didn't work out.
Third, we don't choose one parent over another. Unfortunately, we're put into a difficult situation. Our childhood is now spent being shuffled from one house to another. We want to make everyone happy, but when we get older we want to stay at the house where all our friends are. This sometimes results in not seeing one parents as much as you see the other.
We don't mean for this to happen, but it can become difficult to balance your own life and divorce life. We try our best and want our parents to know that we love them both.
Finally, we are scared. Even though having divorced parents is normal in today's society, it's still scary and unknown to that particular kid. Most of the time you don't know what's going on or how you're going to be effected.
We search for the happy ending that will last, but sometimes it just isn't there. There are some who expect to get divorced. Then there are those of us who really want that forever love. Both are scary and take a lot of feelings to process. More than anything we want to know that someones always going to be there for us.
I have four parents. My dad taught me how to shoot a gun and other useful stuff. My stepmom questions me about life and makes me laugh. My stepdad listens to me talk about nonsense while we watch golf. And my mom is my best friend, who always has my back. I may be a child of divorce, but that doesn't mean I'm not loved by all my parents.
