Have you seen those people who are always under appreciative and are stingy when it comes to saying good things about someone else's success? Everyone has seen them I suppose. Some of the most common things I have heard people say when someone else succeeds are:
- See how lucky he/she is? I wish I was lucky as they are.
- They didn’t work hard. It was just by fluke.
- He/She didn’t deserve it anyway. The only reason they got that position is because they knew someone.
- I would have done much better if I was in their position.
- I can’t believe I worked harder than him/her and they were the ones who won the race.
Of course, there are exceptions to everything. There are some people who reach some places where they don’t deserve to be by hook or by crook. But one thing to remember in these situations is that people don’t usually survive when they get something they don’t deserve. Moreover, exceptions are never the rule. Just because there is one defective piece in a pack of oranges doesn’t mean all are.
Demeaning people who have worked hard to reach somewhere is an insult to their hard work. But psychologically speaking, people do it most with the intent to feel good about themselves. You succeed by working hard yourself or bringing others down and don’t let them succeed. Pretty simple, right? Since everything in this world is relative and not absolute, this trick somehow always works perfectly. I have seen many people who were good at something and they were ridiculed for being good at it and they eventually left it.
I remember very well during my university years that the ones who were at the top of their classes were the ones who were ridiculed the most. They were called by all sorts of names because they were really good at something that most of the other people weren’t. I respect their tenacity to somehow always turn a blind ear to all this “critical stuff” and keep on working hard.
How to deal with it?
People who undermine you never know the full story behind all the success. They don’t know and neither do they want to understand your hard work for something that you wanted to do for yourself. It’s very difficult to win an argument with a wall which is determined not to move and just stay there and demean you anyway, no matter what you say. The goal is to stay true to yourself and not deviate from it. It can definitely be very difficult to just block out opinions that directly demean your hard work but find people who appreciate what you did. There is always someone who does. Stick with them and see yourself grow, for your own good.
