Every generation thinks they’re the first to invent sex, the first to gyrate more wildly on the dance floor than their parents, the first to truly be the greatest generation. This is a phenomenon as old as time.
The first hat buckles worn by Puritan teenagers were probably as angsty and rebellious as gages and tattoos are today. Youth has a certain egocentricity to it, regardless of the form it takes, that causes the youngest generation to shut themselves off from their (relative) elders. This isn’t to say that people disregard the wisdom imparted to them by parents and grandparents; however, the Post-Millennials do not form legitimate friendships with people outside their age bracket. Whether they are professors, or neighbors, or regulars from the coffee shop, there is merit to these types of friendships that seems largely ignored by the people of by the Post-Millennial generation.
In my 20-something-years on this planet, I have learned four great lessons that have deeply influenced my life. The first two came from my parents, as they should have, but the last two came from an elderly couple I became very close with in high school. I will not go into detail about the lessons from my parents in this article because this is not an article about parental wisdom.
What started as a simple gig as a part-time gardener/ general handyman, eventually grew into a unique friendship. I spent a good deal of time with the husband in his garage. Each Saturday afternoon was a crash course in power-tools and living a happy life. I formed a similar bond with his wife when I helped her to unload the groceries, or the lemonade breaks she deemed mandatory from May through September.
To be completely honest, I don’t remember the finer details of most of our conversations over the years; however, two big lessons stuck with me. I learned the first from the wife, shortly after telling her about my acceptance into a summer study abroad program in Germany. Naturally, she was ecstatic that I was lucky enough to have such an opportunity, but her congratulations have stuck with me since then. She told me that it was good that I was moving forward in life, and so many people get stuck in the past that they never really go anywhere in life.
The husband’s lesson came almost a year later, the Friday before my senior prom. By this point in our friendship, he knew I was a responsible young lad, but proceeded to warn me about drinking on prom night anyways. I was expecting the typical dangers of alcohol speech from him, but he imparted a great deal of unexpected wisdom as we tried to fix the lawn mower. He warned me not to get mixed up in the drinking that would be going on Saturday night, not because it was dangerous, but because I had the rest of my life to drink and act like an idiot. He went on to tell me that it was my responsibility to make sure my date got home safely, and that I would be able to do that if I were drunk. This brief exchange in his garage was the most persuasive argument against drinking that I had received that entire week.
As I reflect back on my three years of yard-work and friendship, I realize how much I gained from such a unique friendship. Older relatives are always willing to pass on some of their wisdom to you, but generally withhold some detail that is important to the lesson they want to share. This is because they’re too close to you. They’ve seen you in every stage in life, and may have some difficulty separating the child from the young adult. I found the advice given to me by the elderly couple was more applicable to my current reality than the advice given to me by grandparents. This is because they had only known me as a young adult, and generally treated me like one while in their company.
Unfortunately, very few post-millennials seem to develop this type of relationship. The closest thing I have observed was a type of mentorship from a teacher or professor. While these relationships have their own set of unique merits, they are constricted by an unbreakable air of professionalism. A friendship with an unrelated adult has no such restrictions. My elderly friends were not trying to help me develop professionally, nor did they care if I somehow tarnished my family reputation. They were generally invested in me as a person in a way that no one else had been before. post-millennial should be actively seeking these relationships more than they are. It’s the most effective way to learn.
