Imagine: you have class in five minutes, you've just emerged from the Student Stores, and the Pit lies before you, vast and impassable. People, tables, tents...everywhere.

Here are a few specific obstacles you may encounter.

1. A Pit Preacher

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Not the Pit Preacher, but still notable. Whoever it happens to be at the time, he's loud.

2. Gary

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What is the Pit without the Pit Preacher? Lost.

3. A Capella Groups

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Shout out to the Achordants for being hilarious—one time when they were selling tickets, they yelled, "We're UNC's number one a capella group...alphabetically!" I lost it.

4. A Bake Sale

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Usually for a sorority or some kind of honors society. I hope they have enough funding.

5. Not A Drainage System

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Oh, is the Pit flooded again? It must have been sprinkling again this morning. Should've brought my diving equipment.

6. CUAB

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I have to include CUAB here because it is an omnipresent entity. Somehow, CUAB is everywhere.

7. The Comp Sci Table

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Those kids are the Insomnia Cookies plug. I'm not mad at it.

8. The Pit-Sitters

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You just need to cut through the Pit so you can be on your way to Greenlaw or Chapman or something, but fellow students are determined to form an impenetrable wall of sitting bodies all the way around it. That's fine, I guess.

9. A Line

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Inevitably there'll be some table giving out free snacks or something, and a million people are willing to wait an hour for, like, Pelicans.

10. Some Student Organization

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It's a different one every day, and they're always trying to bribe you to join. Example:

"Here, have a free [cookie/pen/sandwich/pin/sticker], you just have to sign your soul over to our group until you graduate. :)"

*gasp* what if the comp sci kids are just after our souls?

I've been giving it some thought, and I think the best avoidance strategy when some random Pit person approaches you is to yell, "Hold on one second!" in your best South Road crossing guard voice.

Happy trails!