All I want for Christmas is boooze ♪
Another year, another list, including the new pair of boots everyone is wearing, an Apple product and a sweater or something so your parents get the impression that you are still a functioning member of society that dresses up for class. College kids are all pretty similar. We want the same things. Money, booze.... and money for booze, essentially. But, if we lived in a perfect world where we could ask grandma, great uncles and distant cousins twice removed for the things we really wanted, it might look something like this.
- To see positive results from possibly getting gray hair, taking years off my life and sacrificing my sanity to the library by getting good grades on my finals.
- All my parking tickets paid for the rest of my time living on a college campus.
- An ISS prof that understands the mentality of "IDFWU" all students have towards required classes.
- AKA for ISS to be a class we all nap in for 4.0s.
- A cure for a the mother of all sicknesses: the hangover.
- For it to be socially acceptable to bring a blanket and pillow to every class.
- And the bar.
- A chauffeur that specializes in driving you to class on the coldest and snowiest days.
- And to the bars on the snowiest nights.
- A button on Netflix that reads the exact mood you're in and picks the perfect show or movie to watch.
- Unlimited time to watch all the Netflix my little TV addict heart could desire.
- Also time to sleep would be nice.
- If that fails, unlimited coffee will suffice.
- To never run into an ex on campus or anywhere — unless I'm having a really good hair day.
- Heels that I can wear in the snow.
- Or slippers that are party-appropriate.
- For there to be zero calories in my favorite Starbucks drink.
- For there to be zero calories in cheese fries.
- The three words that are the real way to my heart: Home. Cooked. Meals.
- Also booze. All the booze.
- For dorms and sorority houses to allow pets.
- To never have to mentally prepare myself to check my bank account.
- For all my internships and real life responsibilities planned for me without having to put forward effort.
- To be able to wrap a present well. That wrinkly, taped-up mess can't be pulled off as "cute effort" any longer.
- Never ending Christmas break.
- But to move back to my college town after my hometown loses the initial excitement; two days?
- An undefeatable immune system.
- Sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.
- To decide what I actually want to do with my life.
- Or maybe, to avoid this question entirely.
- For an instant text back from everyone I want to talk to.
- For that creepy guy I gave my number to in order to leave nicely to accidentally reset his phone and entire contact list.
- Did I say more sleep?
- Uninterrupted Wi-Fi.
- Attractive TA's.
- For taco bell to deliver.
- Polite CATA bus drivers.
- Free tuition.
- Free textbooks.
- For college to last forever.
We may not be on the same page as Mariah Carey with our Christmas lists, but as college kids we have needs. Needs that don't need to be judged or realistic. In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to force the perma-grin when we opened another scratchy sweater or pair of practical socks ever again. Despite the minor drawbacks of a real christmas list and the high expectations this list puts on your secret Santa, take this and binge eat pies, watch unlimited Netflix and be merry this holiday season, kids. Someday we'll get ours.