Uh, You Don't Get To Chose If Your Kid Is Transgender

Uh, You Don't Get To Chose If Your Kid Is Transgender

Your child's gender isn't really your choice to make.
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When I saw the title "My Child Will Not Be Allowed To Be Transgender" on my Facebook newsfeed you could see my facial expression change from happy to plain disgust. I literally had just shared a video of a transgender girl telling a story about how she was getting bullied.

Before I clicked on the article my mind was all over the place. How are you going to have children if you can't even support them? Or why don't you support transgender people for being who they are? Then I clicked on the article and I realized that this is why I don't read controversial articles that have a different view from mine, because I get so heated.

The first thing I want to say is, you don't allow people to be who they are, it's their own identity. A boy isn't going to just come home one day and be like "I want to be a girl because it's a trend". Trans girls/boys don't choose to be who they are. They feel like they're trapped in a body that doesn't belong to them and nothing's wrong with that. Saying you're not going to allow your child to be transgender is like your parents telling you that you're not allowed to be in the military because you might die.

The fact that someone can write an article about not letting their child be transgender and say at the beginning of their article that "this article is in NO way saying that I hate transgender/homosexual people. I love and respect them as humans (and friends!), I just simply don't support their decision." Is a little unsettling to me because saying that you don't hate transgender people but you don't support their "decision" is going against you not hating them. You must have a little hatred, I'm not saying you have a whole lot but you can't respect people if you don't respect who they are as a person, and being transgender is who they are; they didn't decide to be transgender.

You might not encourage your boy to wear pink or your girl from using the boy's bathroom until they're out of your "authority", but what is going to happen when they do get out your authority? That's if they make it out of your authority. You can't wait to have kids of your own but if your child doesn't feel like they can be who they are around the person that is supposed to support them the most, what will happen then? They will most likely be depressed and suicidal, because they have to hide who they are. But when your child does get out of your house and out of your authority, what is going to happen? Are you still not going to encourage them to be who they truly are or are you going to be there supporter?

Being who you are is not a mental illness. BEING TRANSGENDER IS NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS! According to the World Health Organization, a mental illness is "distress and dysfunction" and while transgender people do have distress, being transgender is not a factor of being distressed. The distress that transgenders have is from the social rejection they experience. It is not a scientific fact that being transgender is a mental illness, but it is a fact that being transgender is not a mental illness. Therefore, there is no need to look for “symptoms” and to look for therapists, counselors, and physicians because they can not help you; you will be spending thousands of dollars on something that does not need to and cannot be”fixed.”

There is nothing wrong with being gay or transgender, and I hope that before anyone that has the same perspective as you has children, that you find a way to encourage your children to be whoever they want to be, including being transgender.

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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6 Things You Should Know About The Woman Who Can't Stand Modern Feminism

Yes, she wants to be heard too.

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2018 is sort of a trap for this woman. She believes in women with all of the fire inside of her, but it is hard for her to offer support when people are making fools of themselves and disguising it as feminism.

The fact of the matter is that women possess qualities that men don't and men possess qualities that women don't. That is natural. Plus, no one sees men parading the streets in penis costumes complaining that they don't get to carry their own fetus for nine months.

1. She really loves and values women.

She is incredibly proud to be a woman.

She knows the amount of power than a woman's presence alone can hold. She sees when a woman walks into a room and makes the whole place light up. She begs that you won't make her feel like a "lady hater" because she doesn't want to follow a trend that she doesn't agree with.

2. She wants equality, too

She has seen the fundamental issues in the corporate world, where women and men are not receiving equal pay.

She doesn't cheer on the businesses that don't see women and men as equivalents. But she does recognize that if she works her butt off, she can be as successful as she wants to.

3. She wears a bra.

While she knows the "I don't have to wear a bra for society" trend isn't a new one, but she doesn't quite get it. Like maybe she wants to wear a bra because it makes her feel better. Maybe she wears a bra because it is the normal things to do... And that's OK.

Maybe she wants to put wear a lacy bra and pretty makeup to feel girly on .a date night. She is confused by the women who claim to be "fighting for women," because sometimes they make her feel bad for expressing her ladyhood in a different way than them.

4. She hates creeps just as much as you do. .

Just because she isn't a feminist does not mean that she is cool with the gruesome reality that 1 in 5 women are sexually abused.

In fact, this makes her stomach turn inside out to think about. She knows and loves people who have been through such a tragedy and wants to put the terrible, creepy, sexually charged criminals behind bars just as bad as the next woman.

Remember that just because she isn't a feminist doesn't mean she thinks awful men can do whatever they want.

5. There is a reason she is ashamed of 2018's version of feminism.

She looks at women in history who have made a difference and is miserably blown away by modern feminism's performance.

Not only have women in the past won themselves the right to vote, but also the right to buy birth control and have credit cards in their names and EVEN saw marital rape become a criminal offense.

None of them dressed in vagina costumes to win anyone over though... Crazy, right?

6. She isn't going to dress in a lady parts costume to prove a point.

This leaves her speechless. It is like the women around her have absolutely lost their minds and their agendas, only lessening their own credibility.

"Mom, what are those ladies on TV dressed up as?"

"Ummm... it looks to me like they are pink taco's honey."

She loves who she is and she cherished what makes her different from the men around her. She doesn't want to compromise who she is as a woman just so she can be "equal with men."

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What Transgender Really Is And Why You Should Care

With Trump’s most recent attack on the transgender community, it’s more important than ever to educate people on what being transgender really means.

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Now, first things first. Trump's plan to define sex in a binary way is an attack on the transgender community, but also an attack on the intersex community. I will try to touch on that, but as I am not intersex, I want to avoid spreading misinformation. I fully support intersex people and believe this is just as much an attack on them as it is on transgender people.

Let's start with a definition for transgender. Transgender is an adjective, not a noun. Someone is transgender, not "a transgender." A lot of people also confuse sex and gender, but they're not interchangeable. To put it simply, sex is what's in your pants, and gender is what's in your head.

Cisgender is the opposite of transgender. People who are cisgender identify with the sex that they were assigned at birth and their gender coincides with their sex.

Sex refers to your genitalia.

A lot of us (including myself) grew up on the belief that there is male genitalia and female genitalia. This is not correct. First of all, equating genitals with gender (male parts/female parts) can be correct for certain people, but not for all. Secondly, sex isn't binary. That's where the term "intersex" comes in.

If someone is intersex, that means that their genitals do not fit into the aforementioned binary. For example, people may be born with a mix of male and female genitals such as a large clitoris, no vaginal opening, or a scrotum that is divided so it is more like labia.

Some people who fit the criteria of "intersex" don't identify as intersex. This is their own decision to make, and they should not be forced to identify as intersex if they don't choose to on their own.

Transgender people also have the choice of identification. Some trans people identify themselves with the terms AFAB (assigned female at birth) or AMAB (assigned male at birth). Personally, I despise being defined as AFAB because I feel as though the term puts too much focused on what I was labelled when I was born when it should put focus on who I am now. Some trans people also choose to identify themselves as transsexual. This is an outdated term and is considered offensive. It should not be used by cisgender people, but transgender people can identify themselves as transsexual if they so choose.

Going back to the problem of binary genitalia, calling genitals "male" or "female" is problematic to transgender people. For a pre-op trans male, having his genitals be referred to as female is traumatizing and triggering. It also perpetuates the myth that you have to fit into a specific label.

Let's break down another myth. Transgender people all identify with the gender that matches the sex they believe they should have, right? Wrong.

Not all transgender people seek surgery, and not all transgender people follow the same path. Some people change their legal name first, some people start testosterone or estrogen first, and some go straight for surgery. Some trans people don't want to do any of the above. All forms of transgender people are valid.

If a transgender person wants surgery to be the "opposite sex," that does not automatically mean that their gender matches that sex. There are many different kinds of genders, and none of them auto correspond with a specific sex. You can be AMAB, have surgery to have a vagina, but identify as agender (not identifying with any gender). There's no chart to follow. You can be whatever gender you want to be regardless of what your sex is. This also applies for cisgender people.

Now that you know the basics of what being transgender means, let's talk about why what Trump is saying is problematic.

Defining gender as "a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth" is extremely problematic and dangerous.

If this change is made in law, transgender people will be at very high risk of discrimination. In the U.S. Transgender Survey, 16% of transgender people who responded lost at least one job because of their identity, 30% who had a job in 2015 were fired or harassed in the workplace, 27% were fired or not hired, 15% were verbally/physically/sexually assaulted, 23% experienced forms of mistreatment such as being asked to stay in the closet or being outed, and 77% either stayed in the closet or quit to avoid possible mistreatment.

Thanks to the Obama administration, we currently have protections in the workplace for transgender people. If Trump changes the definition of gender, those protections are out the window. The rates of discrimination and assault against transgender people are going to skyrocket. People are going to lose jobs, lose their housing, face violent assault, and even be at risk of murder.

It is more important than ever to exercise your right to vote. Help conserve the rights of transgender people because we need all the help we can get.

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