Uh, You Don't Get To Chose If Your Kid Is Transgender

Uh, You Don't Get To Chose If Your Kid Is Transgender

Your child's gender isn't really your choice to make.
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When I saw the title "My Child Will Not Be Allowed To Be Transgender" on my Facebook newsfeed you could see my facial expression change from happy to plain disgust. I literally had just shared a video of a transgender girl telling a story about how she was getting bullied.

Before I clicked on the article my mind was all over the place. How are you going to have children if you can't even support them? Or why don't you support transgender people for being who they are? Then I clicked on the article and I realized that this is why I don't read controversial articles that have a different view from mine, because I get so heated.

The first thing I want to say is, you don't allow people to be who they are, it's their own identity. A boy isn't going to just come home one day and be like "I want to be a girl because it's a trend". Trans girls/boys don't choose to be who they are. They feel like they're trapped in a body that doesn't belong to them and nothing's wrong with that. Saying you're not going to allow your child to be transgender is like your parents telling you that you're not allowed to be in the military because you might die.

The fact that someone can write an article about not letting their child be transgender and say at the beginning of their article that "this article is in NO way saying that I hate transgender/homosexual people. I love and respect them as humans (and friends!), I just simply don't support their decision." Is a little unsettling to me because saying that you don't hate transgender people but you don't support their "decision" is going against you not hating them. You must have a little hatred, I'm not saying you have a whole lot but you can't respect people if you don't respect who they are as a person, and being transgender is who they are; they didn't decide to be transgender.

You might not encourage your boy to wear pink or your girl from using the boy's bathroom until they're out of your "authority", but what is going to happen when they do get out your authority? That's if they make it out of your authority. You can't wait to have kids of your own but if your child doesn't feel like they can be who they are around the person that is supposed to support them the most, what will happen then? They will most likely be depressed and suicidal, because they have to hide who they are. But when your child does get out of your house and out of your authority, what is going to happen? Are you still not going to encourage them to be who they truly are or are you going to be there supporter?

Being who you are is not a mental illness. BEING TRANSGENDER IS NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS! According to the World Health Organization, a mental illness is "distress and dysfunction" and while transgender people do have distress, being transgender is not a factor of being distressed. The distress that transgenders have is from the social rejection they experience. It is not a scientific fact that being transgender is a mental illness, but it is a fact that being transgender is not a mental illness. Therefore, there is no need to look for “symptoms” and to look for therapists, counselors, and physicians because they can not help you; you will be spending thousands of dollars on something that does not need to and cannot be”fixed.”

There is nothing wrong with being gay or transgender, and I hope that before anyone that has the same perspective as you has children, that you find a way to encourage your children to be whoever they want to be, including being transgender.

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. (Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.)

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town. Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community. I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK. What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives. What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all. Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back; same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others. As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being. My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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5 Trans Things That People Don’t Talk About

Written by a verified Trans Dude in an effort to clear the air
Jack MC
Jack MC
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1. Depending on when you come out or change your name and pronouns, being called by the “right” name and pronouns can feel weird for a while.

This is because it’s new, not because it’s the wrong name or pronouns

2. Even after coming out, you will misgender yourself.

Maybe in your head, maybe in conversation, maybe both. This is normal. Laugh it off and move on.

3. Your dysphoria might get worse before it gets better.

Coming out and starting hormones causes a lot of changes both socially and physically that can stir up dysphoric feelings. It will get better.

4. HRT can cause mood swings/fluctuations.

Some people notice a dip in their mood before their dose or a boost in it afterward. Some people on testosterone notice they get angrier easier, or more impulsive. Some people on estrogen notice they feel sadder/less energetic, or just more emotional in general. (They also sometimes experience the symptoms of PMSing without the actual PMS.) This is not universal, but it exists. If the symptoms get worse, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR. They won’t just stop the HRT and tell you to go home. They WILL figure out a dosage that works best for you, and they WILL help you manage the side effects.

5. NOT ALL EFFECTS OF HRT ARE PERMANENT.

Most aren’t. For T, a lower voice and hair growth or loss are permanent. For E, breast growth is permanent to a certain degree, and after a few months on E there’s a high likelihood of becoming sterile, which is also likely permanent.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr
Jack MC
Jack MC

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