Ever notice how easily people can get under our skin? It doesn't take much for us to become disappointed with someone for doing things differently, not doing what we need, or making a simple mistake.
It happens. All the time. No one can really say why, but if you live on this earth and interact with any human beings at all, conflict is bound to occur.
When I get upset with someone, my gut instinct is to be harsh and unforgiving. "How could they have made so careless an error?" I say. "I never would have done that."
Other people's mistakes are easy for me to categorize as careless or even malicious offenses that should never have occurred.
Sometimes I'm on the one who made the mistake. I cut somebody off on the highway or made a mistake at work. Needless to say, I inevitably get flipped off by another or chewed out by my boss.
But it wasn't my fault!
There is always something that forces me to cut that other driver off. Maybe I needed to make a turn I didn't see soon enough.
There is always some special circumstances at work that should earn me a free pass on my mistake at work. I could have been tired. I could have been distracted by someone trying to get my attention. Whatever the case, there is always something that I can't control that prevents me from being perfect.
Needless to say, these things are just not true. The people around me are not perfect. And neither am I.
Everyone is going to make mistakes, and nobody is going to do everything my way 100 percent of the time.
When people around me screw up and it affects me, I want to shout and scream at them for being so stupid. But I know that I wouldn't want them to do that to me. I know that nobody else responds well to being chewed out either. Most of the time, all it takes is a simple conversation, figuring out what happened from their perspective and discussing the consequences of their actions.
When I mess up now, I usually know it. And all I need is that calm exchange for me to understand the implications of my actions and how to correct them. Getting shouted at hurts. It makes it hard for me to think, and it makes it hard for me to act. But I also know that sometimes, that is what the other person needs. They have to let their feelings out in order to get past them. Next to the feeling of knowing you let that person down, there's not a worse feeling in the world.
In the end, all I can do is try my best to leave mistakes behind me. Other people's mistakes make me angry, and my own mistakes make me defensive.
Learn from it. Move on. Try harder next time.
