8 Features On A Guy's Tinder Profile That'll Make You Swipe Left

8 Features On A Guy's Tinder Profile That'll Make You Swipe Left

“The Office” in your bio isn't quirky, it's basic.

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Tinder is a mix between a game and social media. You swipe through profiles and can adjust the age range and mileage range to your preferences. In addition, you can sign up for TinderU so that you see people from your university and other universities around the country. When each profile comes up, you can swipe left for no or right for yes, and then the next profile will come up, and so on. There are two paths to matching with someone. If you swipe right and don't get an "It's a Match!" message, either he hasn't seen your profile yet or he swiped left. There's no way to know if someone swipes left on you, so don't worry about rejection. If you swipe right and get an "It's a Match!" notification right away, then he already swiped right on you, so yay! The thing about Tinder is that you come across way more swipe lefts than swipe rights. After spending a month on Tinder, I realized that there were 8 features on profiles that made me quickly swipe left.

1. Every picture on his profile is a group picture

I'm not in the FBI. If he makes me investigate to find out what he actually looks like, I'm just going to swipe left.

2. Having a reference from "The Office" in his bio

You tell 'em Stanley.

“The Office" is a great show, but having it in your bio is BASIC and overused.

"I'll be the Jim to your Pam."

"The Dwight to your Angela."

"The Office and chill?"

3. Dogs*

One of the few perks of Tinder is that almost every guy has dog pics on his profile. I have swiped right on guys solely because of their dog(s). *The awkward part is when their dog is their profile picture. Then they're 100% trying to lure you in with their dog and that's just mean, swipe left.

4. "Here for a good time not a long time"

WOW Chad, you are SO ORIGINAL AND COOL.

5. Stating his height in his bio 

Guys are like:

"I'm like 7'5."

"6'0 almost 6'1."

"5'7, if you can't handle that, then swipe left."

This is Tinder, not a doctor's appointment.

6. A picture with his ex-girlfriend and "this could be you" over her face

Yes, because the idea of replacing someone is EXACTLY what I'm looking for!!

7. Shirtless pictures in the bathroom mirror

Taking a mirror picture in the locker room after working out is one thing, but having a picture in your home bathroom? That pretty much screams, "I send unsolicited d**k pics."

8. Pictures of his car

Tinder is for matching with people, not, uh, Transformers.

Tinder was fun and interesting for the first couple weeks but after that every profile kind of ended up looking the same. One month after downloading Tinder, I deleted my profile. As Fall Out Boy once said, "Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great."

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To That One Friend Who Deserves The World

Since I can't give you the world, I hope giving you this article is enough.
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My wonderful friend,

You deserve love.

You deserve to marry your best friend.

You deserve appreciation.

You deserve that no matter who comes in and out of your life, every selfless thing you do for someone is acknowledged.

Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator

You deserve kindness.

You deserve to have the nicest people in the world surround you all of the time.

You deserve support.

You deserve to have someone there for you at the beginning of every good day and at the end of every bad one, to have someone who wants to fix all of your problems.

You deserve hope.

You deserve to always be optimistic.

You deserve laughter.

You deserve to never stop smiling and actually mean it every time you do.

You deserve forgiveness.

You deserve to be able to be given second chances because without a doubt you are worth it.

You deserve friendship.

You deserve to have a friend who can be just as good of a friend as you are.

You deserve honesty.

You deserve to always be told the truth.

You deserve motivation.

You deserve to never want to give up and always push yourself.

You deserve success.

You deserve to have everything you have worked so hard for.

You deserve faith.

You deserve to always know it will get better.

You deserve loyalty.

You deserve to have that one person who will never leave and always be there for you.

You deserve happiness.

You deserve to be genuinely content with your life.

You deserve the world.

If I could give it to you, I would.

Yes, life gets tough sometimes. The unthinkable happens and your world feels like it is crashing down but you can get past all of this.

Thank you for being so selfless. It amazes me how you do it sometimes, but thank you for always making everyone your main priority when they need you.

I know I may not say it enough, but truly thank you for all you do for me. I don’t always know how to show how much someone means to me, especially when it is someone as great as you because I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but thank you.

I love you.

Cover Image Credit: Liz Spence

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To The Guy Who Told Me Not To Be Me, Nice Try

He will not silence me.

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He told me to never cut my hair short because it would make me look too masculine.

So, I sent him pictures of three different pixie cuts and asked him which one I should get.


He told me not to wear red lipstick because it made me look like a slut.

So, I bought every shade from blush rose to maroon.


He told me not to buy heels taller than one and a half inches tall because it's unattractive for a girl to be taller then the guy she is with.

My favorite shop was having a sell on a beautiful pair of three-inch stilettos. I bought them.


He told me that I was putting on a few extra pounds and that I shouldn't order dessert on our next dinner date.

Did he honestly think I would say no to the red velvet cake that our waitress offered?


He flirted with the waitress, saying that I should "look more like her."

I wrote down his number on our receipt before we left the restaurant.


He told me not to leave my "feminine products" on the counter because it's embarrassing.

When his friends came over for guys night, I organized my tampons and pads nicely on the bathroom shelf.


He told me that I couldn't talk to my best friend of 12 years because he was a guy.

I invited him to watch a movie with us at the local cinema the following week.


He told me not to order wine at the bar with him and his work friends because he didn't want me to seem "trashy."

I ordered jack and coke instead.


He told me not to be a feminist because it meant that I thought I was better than him.

My new "GIRL PWR" shirt is my favorite.


He told me to be silent.

He told me that I think too much and that I speak what I think too often.

He told me nobody cares about what I have to say.

He told me that the things I say don't matter.


So, I wrote a poem about him.

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