basic Tinder profiles

8 Features On A Guy's Tinder Profile That'll Make You Swipe Left

“The Office” in your bio isn't quirky, it's basic.

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Tinder is a mix between a game and social media. You swipe through profiles and can adjust the age range and mileage range to your preferences. In addition, you can sign up for TinderU so that you see people from your university and other universities around the country. When each profile comes up, you can swipe left for no or right for yes, and then the next profile will come up, and so on. There are two paths to matching with someone. If you swipe right and don't get an "It's a Match!" message, either he hasn't seen your profile yet or he swiped left. There's no way to know if someone swipes left on you, so don't worry about rejection. If you swipe right and get an "It's a Match!" notification right away, then he already swiped right on you, so yay! The thing about Tinder is that you come across way more swipe lefts than swipe rights. After spending a month on Tinder, I realized that there were 8 features on profiles that made me quickly swipe left.

1. Every picture on his profile is a group picture

I'm not in the FBI. If he makes me investigate to find out what he actually looks like, I'm just going to swipe left.

2. Having a reference from "The Office" in his bio

You tell 'em Stanley.

“The Office" is a great show, but having it in your bio is BASIC and overused.

"I'll be the Jim to your Pam."

"The Dwight to your Angela."

"The Office and chill?"

3. Dogs*

One of the few perks of Tinder is that almost every guy has dog pics on his profile. I have swiped right on guys solely because of their dog(s). *The awkward part is when their dog is their profile picture. Then they're 100% trying to lure you in with their dog and that's just mean, swipe left.

4. "Here for a good time not a long time"

WOW Chad, you are SO ORIGINAL AND COOL.

5. Stating his height in his bio 

Guys are like:

"I'm like 7'5."

"6'0 almost 6'1."

"5'7, if you can't handle that, then swipe left."

This is Tinder, not a doctor's appointment.

6. A picture with his ex-girlfriend and "this could be you" over her face

Yes, because the idea of replacing someone is EXACTLY what I'm looking for!!

7. Shirtless pictures in the bathroom mirror

Taking a mirror picture in the locker room after working out is one thing, but having a picture in your home bathroom? That pretty much screams, "I send unsolicited d**k pics."

8. Pictures of his car

Tinder is for matching with people, not, uh, Transformers.

Tinder was fun and interesting for the first couple weeks but after that every profile kind of ended up looking the same. One month after downloading Tinder, I deleted my profile. As Fall Out Boy once said, "Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great."

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To The Ex-Best Friend Who Made Everything A Competition, I'm Done Playing Your Game

And I'm doing OK without you.

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Dear Best Friend,

We were inseparable, attached at the hip, and I always thought that you would be in my life for forever. We did everything together: ate the worst food possible, watched the newest crappy Netflix film, cried over the boy that constantly broke our hearts, and laughed at the things that made us seem the most stupid. I loved you like a sister, and I would do anything for you, but everything started to change quickly, and it didn't make sense for me to stay.

As close as we were, things started to become a competition: who could be the happiest? Who could be the best in school? Who could find the "one" first? Even now, I sit and question why we thought that these things were supposed to strengthen our friendship when they only destroyed it. I felt like I had entered a toxic relationship, trapped in the constant annoyance that I felt in your presence, and I hate that I felt this way. But, here's the thing, you were so wrapped up in your own life and making yourself happy that you had totally forgotten that I had a life of my own. I wanted to be successful, too. I wanted to have a shoulder to cry on when I was hurt, too. I wanted to have my best friend on my side, too. But I didn't have the luxury that you did; you were my best friend, but I wasn't yours.

After months of just being there at your disposal, I finally learned what life would be like without having my best friend around, and that really sucked, if I'm being honest. Every time you called, I was there. Every time he broke your heart, I was there. Every time you needed to cry, I was there. I was behind you every step of the way, that even when my day was horrible, I made sure to answer when you called. But, when I needed you, the conversation was spun into your mandala of life, and my problems were thrust outside the lines. I was tired of being taken advantage of.

After all the ignored advice given, I finally gave up. I couldn't sit back and watch you ruin your life over a guy that obviously didn't care about your well-being or our friendship. I watched our friendship turn from something once great, something I couldn't live without, into something toxic and something I wanted no part of.

Because I knew that I had lost you a long time ago, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I could live a happier life without you in it. I wanted to make sure that the days of being in this crazy competition were over for me, and that I could look back on this last year and know that, no matter what, I was the winner of my own happiness. And I look at you, and I truly feel sorry for you because you've spent so much time trying to give someone else your happiness. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry we grew apart. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be the friend that you needed. I'm sorry that I won't be the girl who hides behind one of her friends. I'm sorry that I have my own life, one that I'm proud of.

I'm glad we had laughs that we did. I'm glad we cried together. I'm glad that we have the amazing memories that we do.

You were my best friend, and I'll always be there for you. Just remember why I left.

With love,

Your Ex-Best Friend

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