I have been working the restaurant industry part time for a long time as a host. You’re probably thinking that there’s no job in the world that’s easier than being a hostess. Truthfully, there probably isn’t. I mean, showing people to their tables all day isn’t exactly hard labor. And holding that heavy door for people as they walk in and out of the building is a pretty good arm workout if I do say so myself. That thing is a solid five thousand pounds, probably. Folding kids menus has to be the hardest part, hands down. I mean, it’s basically paper-cuts galore. Plus, my feet are always killing me from standing behind the host stand.
But, that’s about the hardest part of my job, and even that’s an overstatement. If you haven’t already realized, hostess-ing is a pretty easy job - I truly can’t complain. I adore my coworkers – they’re great, and about 90 percent of my shifts are spent laughing with them. But there are those days when you’re already stressed to the max, and people find nearly anything to complain about. When you work in the restaurant business, there are a variety of people you’ll encounter on a daily basis – the kind of humans who complain about the simplest of things, making you question life itself. Fortunately, there are those great customers who make up for the not-so-great ones. If you work in the restaurant business like me, here are 9 types of people you may have already encountered during a shift, or probably will at some point in the future:
1. Same-Siders
If you're a server, you probably already know about the Same-Siders. These are the couples who come in,and insist on sitting together on the same side of the booth. Maybe this is romantic, and I'm just being bitter, but I never understood the point in sitting on the same side of the booth. I mean, don't you have a hard time talking to one another? In my opinion, it's much easier to have a conversation sitting across the table rather than right next to someone. But, in the Same-Sider's defense, they aren't doing much talking to begin with. Most of their dining experience is spent cuddling, nuzzling, and exchanging kisses throughout the duration of their dinner. Hey, do your thing.
2. The No-Tipper/Pamphlet Tipper
This person has obviously never worked in the restaurant business before. Some people genuinely do not believe in leaving a tip. Which I also never understood, considering servers spend your entire dinner taking care of you and making sure you have everything you need. Of course, there are servers out there who may not deserve the 20 percent, but a server's tips is how they make their money. And substituting a tip for a pamphlet that's entitled "Money Can't Buy Happiness," isn't exactly going to pay the bills either (yes, someone has actually left that as a tip). Point Blank: Tip your server!
3. "Can we have a booth instead of a table?"
Personally, when I'm hungry, you could seat me on the ground and I wouldn't care. Your food is going to taste the same, whether you're sitting in a booth or a table, so when a table is the only thing available, why make a fuss? Of course, there are certain circumstances that are understandable, like seating a party with children, because they're easier to maintain in a booth. But, some people are ruthless, and if they're seated at a table instead of the booth, they aren't going to be very happy campers, and will most likely ask to move. Don't you know there's a seating rotation?
4. The Uncontrollable Children
When I was younger, and my parents took me out to eat, acting up in the restaurant was a guaranteed punishment as soon as we got home. For some children, going out to eat is very much equivalent to recess. We're humans, and we get it - babies are unpredictable and you can't help it when your little one starts to get fussy during dinner. But, when a swarm of five year-olds are running around causing a ruckus, making a mess, and disturbing the other parties, it gets hard to keep cool.
5. The Freebie Lovers
These types of people love free things, and will do anything to get an item removed from the bill. Sure, if your meal wasn't prepared right, was burnt, took extra long, or tasted terrible, these types of complaints are completely understandable. But - if you're going to complain about the food, don't eat the whole thing first! Most likely, your server would be more than happy to take it off the bill or prepare you something else. Trust me, I live for freebies just as much as the next guy, but that's what coupons and specials are for. There's a huge difference between complaining in order to gain a free meal, or being genuinely disappointed.
6. The Chatterbox
I'm talking about the person who starts whipping out pictures of their grandchildren. This person loves conversation, and would spend hours talking your ear off if they could. They usually talk slow, and frequently and don't realize that you have other customers to tend to. Which can be bittersweet, because they're usually super-sweet and enjoyable to converse with. However, on a busy saturday night, when the restaurant is slammed, sometimes you just want to get those people in and out.
7. The Bathroom-and-Bounce people
When customers come in asking only to use the bathroom, it's not a problem at all. Go right ahead, we don't mind! But, there are a handful of people who come in and try to sneakily go to the restroom and leave. A customer once told me there was going to be a party of 10, and he was just waiting for the rest of the gang. I began to set up his table (mind you, setting up a table for 10 is much harder than setting up a table for four) and he told me he was just going to use the bathroom first. A few minutes later, I saw him leaving out the front door. He glanced back and said, "I'm just going to wait for them outside." I thought nothing of it, until I watched through the window as he got in his car and drove off. You could have just asked, you know!
8. The Dad with Jokes
Dad jokes are becoming more and more popular; unfortunately, that doesn't make them funnier. If I had a dollar for every time I asked how someone was doing this evening and got "hungry!" as the response, I could probably pay off my college tuition. Usually, just laughing along will do the trick, but working in a restaurant guarantees hearing the same few jokes over and over again.
9. The Regulars
Regulars are great, because most of the time you know what they're going to order and they're familiar with you. Establishing a good relationship with the customer is always a plus. I love it when people I recognize come in to eat, because I get to know them personally and there's much more to talk about. They'll even start to know you by name, which is always a rewarding feeling.
