My mother always said, "You're not able to choose your family, but you're able to choose your friends." I never truly understood what she meant about that. It took 20 years for me to finally figure it out. Your family, no matter how stressful they seem to be, only want you to progress as an individual and are always looking out for your best interests. Unfortunately, as much as we would all like to assume our friends hold the same thinking, they do not. It is difficult to know exactly which individuals deserve your attention and which do not. From my experience, however, there are five type of people you must distance yourself from:
1. The Judgmental Judy
This person is the one always talking behind the backs of others. Judy is the person to drool over you while you’re in the vicinity, but the moment you leave, you’re the victim of consistent ridicule. They tend to focus and prey on the insecurities of others, and consequently, you subconsciously adjust your views to fit theirs. This greatly diminishes the very beauty of life itself. We are our own autonomous beings, and only through accepting each other's differences are we able to progress. Consequentially, Judies do not progress. And surrounding yourself around such people subjects you to the same.
2. The Negative Nancy
The Negative Nancy and Debbie Downer can be compacted into one person. Attitude is contagious, and negativity is the worst disease. Nancies are the type of people who are consistently complaining about every little thing around them. No matter which decision you choose, they will pick it apart to find something wrong with it. The worst part of it all: they do not offer any better solutions. A prime example would be attempting to choose a place to eat with a group of friends. That one person that turns down ever option brought to the plate, without offering any up in turn, is indeed a Nancy. Negativity is not a characteristic of progression, and in turn, will only hold you back.
3. The Selfish Sally
This type of person is probably the worst of them all. Sallies can be classified as manipulative. Everything in your friendship must work in their favor. In other words: me, me, me! They are the people who treat others as a means rather than an end. When treating others as an end, you are treating them with respect. When you treat another as a means, you are merely using them to obtain a goal, rather than treating them with the respect they rightfully deserve. They prey on the kindness of individuals to progress themselves. In only worrying about bettering themselves, they fail to realize they are gravely minimizing your full potential. If another person never initiates contact with you, do not be surprised if they cut you off before you do them.
4. The Backstabbing Becky
If a person is labeled as a backstabber, the first inference you can gain from that is that they are not to be trusted. Beckies and Sallies are very much the same individual: both prey on the kindness of others to progress their own self. The difference, however, is that Beckies gain your trust only to break it in the future. You do not have to fully trust a selfish person, but for one to "backstab" another requires just that. This makes it extremely difficult to differentiate Beckies from the rest of our BFFs. They use the information you supply them to progress. Their progression comes at the hands of your own demise.
5. The Grudge-holding Gretchen
This is the most annoying of all the types of people. This person will never forget about any time you wronged them. It could be something as little as scratching their car. Two years later, they will remind you. You will never progress as an individual holding on to this person. Gretchens are stuck in the past and seem to never move on from anything. In order to progress you must forgive and forget. Essentially, in order to progress, you must do just that.
If you find yourself around any of these five people, it would be best to distance yourself from them immediately. These people feed off of your unhappiness, and will not think twice about it. Just try for a week not talking to any of these individuals and I can guarantee you will find a lot more happiness in your life.
